Is it normal that i like to destroy?

6 Comments

----I want to be a good person and do good things, but I feel an extremely compelling desire to destroy things, whether it's a relationship I have or someone else's, someone's heart, something I made, or a random object. I don't want to destroy everything I see, but sometimes, even if I'm not angry, I feel like grabbing something and decimating it completely. Sometimes I want to make people suffer.
----I think that it's because my mom was a demonic sadist and abused the shit out of me mentally and physically, but how can I get rid of this? I mean, sometimes it feels rewarding to take out my anger on someone or something. I like the feeling of destroying something with my own hands.
----I want to be hit too, I want to attack and to be attacked. I want to be damaged while I destroy what's/who's damaging me. But I feel a kind of pride that doesn't allow me to take damage stupidly, I feel like I have to give it back, like I need revenge. To me, the thought of choking someone to death and crushing their neck, after I just had a fight with them in which they were extremely close to killing me, is euphoric. To me, the thought that that person hates me to death and that I hate them to death is what truly makes the scenario euphoric.
----I don't want to be this way, because as soon as I think that someone's against me in any way I become a ruthless bastard, and I am very paranoid; a perfect combination for absolute disaster. But I don't feel like that when I'm infatuated/in love with someone. I'm peaceful when I'm happy due to a girl. Maybe love is my medicine.
----Right now, I'm infatuated with someone beyond words and I actually feel like doing good things, very good things. Maybe I just like to give things back to my external world. Maybe it's like this: if I have nothing, I want to destroy, if I have something, I want to help others prosper and make others feel better (generally speaking).
----I would appreciate any insights into this matter. Thank you for taking your time to read this.

I've experienced that, I think it's normal 18
I think you're just a little traumatized, you'll get over it eventuall 6
You gotta see a psychologist or talk to someone 23
You just need love, don't worry about anything else 4
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Comments ( 6 )
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    It sounds like you have a trauma bond to your mother and you're compelled to reenact it with other people. You need to address this matter in therapy with a professional before you really hurt someone or yourself.

    Did your mother abuse drugs and alcohol? The twelve step program of Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families could help you. http://www.adultchildren.org/

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  • q25t
    10 years ago

    Take up boxing? But really, it sounds like you need to talk to someone professionally about this.

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  • LeatherbackSeaTurtleIsABadass
    10 years ago

    Destruction is a form of creation

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    • _Molotov_Cocktail_
      10 years ago

      "Molotov cocktail throwing is a form of art."
      -Russian proverb

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    The "white horse" syndrome.

    Linked to instinct, purity and the drive of the physical body to release powerful and emotional forces, like rage with ensuing chaos and destruction.

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  • Wendell
    10 years ago

    placet tibi delere

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