Is it normal that i like gay blowjobs a bit as a straight?

I was all my life straight. I liked sexual only women, had crushes only on women and watched only straight porn and jerked off to women, even now. I tested myself whether im bisexual or not by testing myself one or two times gay porn but i found it repulsive. But after a few years of getting into puberty (and i'm not done yet) i tested myself because i kinda liked what the woman was doing with the penis. It was like i could feel what she felt and what she did. It confused me a bit so i tested myself again one night by watching gay porn(gay blowjob) and it turned me a bit on what he did, i could feel into it again. I got not exactly a full boner but it felt like i was getting one. But before anything more could happen i closed it. So i got scared that was gay. It confused me , gave me headache and made me feel bad. I couldn't concentrate on my normal life, every time i tried to it came back. Its like when i tried to imagine having sex with men around me(like friends) i found it at first a little bit 'good' but then repulsive when i get it clear that they are men. This made so sick that i kinda got used to soul pain :(. I can't imagine myself loving or being together with a men but this confuses me. Please help !!!