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I like being with guys who are in relationships. It turns me on so much and it makes me feel like i can't get hurt because it's not my relationship...
Not gonna lie, I used to have a big fetish for married men. I didn't act on it however, but I actually can see why you'd be drawn to them. It was really bad because before I got with my boyfriend, I had this huge thing for this 35 year old married father of two who was so fed up with his wife. I had to severe ties despite not wanting to, but believe me this shit happens.
People can jump on here and attack you, but at least know that I understand. While I may not approve, and others don't, I'd be a major hypocrite if I said I never thought of it or entertained the idea in my head for a while. I honestly think its a normal thing. It's really all in how you react to your urges and whether or not you're comfortable with yourself when you go to sleep at night. If I had an affair with that guy, I wouldn't have been able to look at myself in the mirror. If his wife found out? I knew it would be the end of their marriage, and he had two very pretty daughters who would be without a dad. I don't think I could have lived with myself if I had been the reason for the family falling apart.
Luckily for you though, the boys you're dealing with are just in relationships. Married men are a completely different case.
It's not about never having better or thinking less of yourself. I understand the feelings they both have about the forbidden ness of it. I on the other hand like feeling special and wanted. After a long term relationship without it I am enjoying the feelings. When it's over it's over.
How can you think so little of yourself?
I wouldn't be second best to any other woman.
Most women are second best to another woman. They just don't know who she is yet!
it's not about being second best, it's about "being left alone" afterwards. single guys will often harass you about meeting again, or try getting more involved. you don't have all that hassle in this way. It's not that i am "second best", i just borrow him for a while.
Single guys will want to hook up with you if you're having sex on the first date, the others who can get it at home think so little of you that they would not want to contact you again! Married ones will be afraid of what they could catch from you, if you sleep around so easily!!
Its funny how self deluded you are. You seem to have convinced yourself that you are using the guys and its to your benefit for sex in that they are not contacting you again afterwards.
When in fact you are just another slutty girl to them. And what do guys do with sluts, the same thing the other 50+ guys did before they came along. They use for them for some fun and then forget about them.
But you keep telling yourself you are using them and its not the other way around.
its just a bit of fun. you dont want a relationship with these guys do you. its not your fault there cheating its there fault
It's morally wrong. I hope you find a better hobby and stop being so selfish and think about others rather than yourself. Yeah, you might not get hurt, but imagine yourself in their shoes, it's going to ruin their lives. Wait until you fall in love and then you find out about the other woman. Imagine it was your mom, or your sister, or your daughter and you helped her with her wedding and saw the joy this man gave her and all that was shattered by sluts like you. Happened to me when I saw my dad's mistress as a kid, I'll never forget that hurt that my mom felt. Whenever a hot guy talks to me and the minute I find out he has a GF, I walk away. Guilt free. If you have no shame, wait until you get screwed over. It will come back ten fold.
There's nothing wrong with what you do, OP, you go for it :)
Also, makes me laugh how posters say you are settling for second-best. Isn't the woman who is going out with a cheater in the first place the one that's accepted second-best? Shit, she's the only one out of the 3 of you who believes she is in a good rel'p lolz
No problem with it. It's an old story. One day you may want a man 100% of your own. Maybe not. Courtesans and the like have been around forever. Maybe you are better suited to this than the old house in the suburbs, 2.4 kids routine....
because you cant find happiness you'll risk ruining someone else's happiness.
You're such a great person Terry!
so, if i'm sitting in a bar, and you come in, you come up to me, chat with me, buy me a drink, ask me if we should go someplace else, kiss me on the way to another bar, start groping me, tell me about problems with your girlfriend when i ask you about her, all the while having your hands wander, suggest spending the night together and proceeding to having sex with me after i asked about your girlfriend again while you undress me, it is _MY_ fault because i didn't stop you and i'm putting your happyness to risk.
Sorry, i don't get that kind of logic.
I am in a happy and open relationship, but now and then i like a man. Thats all i look for, and all i want. no involvement, no responsibilities, no ties. i tried "no strings attached" sex friends, but that did _NOT_ work out. I prefer to have this on my terms, not as a "call-out" toy. Blame me all you want, but don't act holier-than-thou about those guys that GO all the way.
You know what they would do if all people like me and morphine wouldn't exist? What would happen if NOBODY would have sex with someone because that someone already has a partner? Very simple: They would LIE about being single. If you think they don't have issues and wouldn't cheat, you're giving them too much credit.
If one of the guys had second thoughts or decided to rather go home/send me home, i _NEVER_ pushed him or tried to get him to change his mind, and for that, i am mighty proud, no matter how negatively you judge me.
I don't know why you are so cheap!
Some guy buys you a drink or two, (or ten) asks you to go somewhere else for a bit of sex - and you say yes and drop your knickers!!!
FFS why don't you just ask for the cash? I think that is much more honest.
I don't even believe that you enjoy the first time sex with someone new, coz usually it's a bit awkward etc.
Why don't you just tell single guys that you are married? Then you can't give them your number or see them again etc.
It may be ok for you in an open relationship but if you could see the devastation you are causing for a family. I know a few guys who felt so guilty that they told their wives, only to be thrown out. The children lost their dad and they lost the family home too as the ex-wife couldn't keep up payments on her own. I hope some day you see the hurt for one of your family of friends and then you won't be so proud of being a cheap whore.
Most women would tell that cheating pig to fuck off right there and then and maybe threaten to tell their girlfriend, but no - not you. You do it to get your own selfish pleasure.
Yes, i do it for my own selfish pleasure.
The same way i accept people starve in other countries while enjoying the non-fair-trade coffee imported from there.
The same way i accept animals being kept and raised in awful conditions so i can enjoy my cheap meat.
The same way i pass by a homeless person on the street without so much as worrying about wether they have a place to sleep, much less giving them money.
If i stand to gain something from it, why should i start getting an overly "moral" person right there and then and tell a dude that clearly is LOOKING to cheat that he should find another girl.
So, yeah, i don't usually worry much about other people, because most other people don't worry about me, and thats perfectly fine for me. I want neither undue attention nor worrying about others. Why _I_ have a responsibility to STOP the guy, who NOBODY forced to do ANYTHING, still none of the moral busybodies managed to explain.
Not his happiness, her - y'know that other person who still belives they are in a faithful relationship and don't realise your banging their boyfriend. JEEZ I can't belive I just had to explain that Terry.
"sex with me after i asked about your girlfriend again" Oh man look how much you did to be a good person. you asked "again"!
"i _NEVER_ pushed him or tried to get him to change his mind" clearly!
so i'm more responsible for the happyness of some random person i never even saw than the "love of her life"-husband-to-be that will be faithful and raise kids with her.
If anybody, THEY should worry about destroying her happyness, i can't believe you are trying to claim they are "innocent" on basis of me being guilty.
As for asking again, ya, if you happily chat about your girlfriend with me before screwing me, than i don't feel any remorse for the act because obviously, if it was not me, it would be someone else. Thats not the kind of person that gets "tempted" into such a situation and then regrets it. It's a person that's pretty clear on whats happening and ACCEPTS the facts.
And if a BOYFRIEND accepts the fact that he is cheating on his GIRLFRIEND who loves him, then i don't see why i should have a problem accepting the fact that what i am doing MAY hurt a complete stranger i never talked with or saw. If a company boss decides to order office supplies form company A, that may mean company B has to let go 20% of it's employs to avoid bancruptcy, destroying some of their lives in the process. That's capitalism and fine, but if _I_ don't care about people i never had anything to do with, i'm a awful person? Time for a reality check.
As for the last part, while useless since you have made up your mind: Yes, there were guys who had second doubts. And yes, it's not easy. I had guys who got second doubts when we were already naked, my hands on their erection, and me incredibly wet, moments before doing "it". Not trying to "push" them to continue but instead covering up and telling them to go _IS_ not easy. So ya, you can accept that or not. I _KNOW_ i didn't push or try to convince them otherwise.
I don't agree with it at all, and I think it is awful, I think it is low, and I think it is a terrible lack of empathy on your part. But ultimately, you can't be blames for his infedelity. If it's not you, it would be another woman.
But ultimately, HE is the one ruining his relationship, not you. HE is looking for the one night stand, HE is the only one that has the obligation to the woman, not you. HE is the one that owes it to his woman to be loyal, and, in essence, HE is the homewrecker, the one ruining the relationship, YOU are simply the catalyst that he is using to do it. No one MAKES a man cheat.
So while I still think it is terrible that women would do this, and that it DOES show a horrible lack of empathy for the other woman ("it's not MY problem"), being that I am more conservative and don't believe in promiscuity of that sort, I can't say anything to you about how you live your life. Cheating is a terrible, fucked up thing but the cheating partner is worse and no matter who he is fucking, it's obvious.
The relationship is over.
Although I have been in a situation in which I got into a fight with my best girl friend and my boyfriend at the same time, and she sexted him until he came over and fucked her. I blamed them both equally. That was fucked up. But that's what they wanted to do and I didn't want them in my life. Hence, why I dropped them both. This is the 2nd time that one of my more promiscuous friends has gotten with my boyfriends. That's just low.
see, thats something i would NEVER do, and don't understand. To people i know, i do feel an obligation, and even if a friend asked me to "see" if her boyfriend WOULD cheat on her, i would never go all the way.
but i am glad for your first 2 paragraphs, you summed it up so well, and yet so few people seem to understand this.
i feel sorry for what happened to you, and even more sorry that a discussion such as this must bring up memories of that. All the more i thank you for trying to judge fairly, and not downright insult without even considering our position. If anybody here would HAVE a right to do that, it would be you- thanks again for being fair, even if you do have(very understandably) a different opinion.
People like this typically accept being second best, because they'll never have better.
You are a waste. Just scrap metal. It's sad really you could be out there like a lady and respectable, but you decide to be trash. No one will ever love you. You'll never know that feeling of being in love and happy. So, you go fuck random taken men to try and fill that hole (literally) but it never works, and it never will.
You'll die alone and easily forgotten.
i know what you mean. When i look for a one-night-stand, i try picking guys in a relationship...simply because they will not try to intensify contact with me and discretion is in their interest.
So while that sounds like a different reasoning, in the end it also means "not getting dragged into relationship stuff that i don't want& that could cause pain for me/others".
the "forbidden" part is an extra bonus. One guy let me view dirty pictures of his girlfriend on his smartphone while we were doing it doggie-i have to admit i was tempted to call her right then...
Seriously that isn't right. I can understand the whole "forbidden" part of your argument for having sex with men who are in relationships but that still isn't right. I suggest you stop ruining relationships before you get caught.
ah, let me assure you that i don't approach them, and _I_ don't come on to them. I just "move on" if the guy is single, but stay to chat when he's not.
I know that does not exempt me from whats going on, there's always 2 people involved, but with guys that actively try to find someone to cheat with, and i'm just not resisting that, i don't really feel guilty.
So, yeah, in my eyes, i put the majority of blame on them, as THEY have to flirt with me, THEY have to suggest it, and THEY have to make the first move. I am a willing accomplice but tend to believe that i can't destroy something already broken. If the guy _IS_ cheating, he _IS_ cheating. As (not really) mentioned above, i even ASK them about their girls before we do "it"...hence one guys response of showing me pics of her...
Yes! A million times, yes. that's exactly how I feel. It's not like I come on to anyone when I find out they're in a relationship, but if they are, and they're coming on to me, I don't mind. It's just whatever now. I've been hurt too much to give a damn.
well, seems theres a lot of hatred coming our way.
funny, considering the average guy in a bar is not so "reluctant".
it's relatively anonymous here and people still get all elitist about it being wrong, but truth just looks different. My honest comments are obviously "Inappropiate, mean, or in poor taste" but "stupid cunt" is "helpful, interesting, kind or funny".
I think it's really funny(in a bad way) that people here openly discuss stuff like incest, necrophilia or bestiality in a friendly manner, but if you openly admit that you like being "the other women" then you are voted down and hated. yay internet.
i understand you, morphine, decide for yourself if those haters are worth listening to.
Notice that theres 36 (now 37) comment on your post, and i'm pretty sure not one of them says "Good for you!!! :) You steal other people men! woot woot" And why do you think that is? MAYBE, just maybe. Theres something wrong with what your doing? You should throw away your justifications and correct yourself or you may finda you have even bigger issues down the road
That's really selfish and idiotic, but whatever floats your boat. I mean, I guess you like being a total fucking bitch and getting used by guys, right?
Fucking bitch, no that's not normal, you think it's okay to hurt other people so you won't get hurt? Fucking die