Is it normal that i lie to my best friend so that i can be with him?

66% Normal
10 Comments

Okay well my best friend (a guy) and I have been best friends since 7th grade. I have always had a crush on him and he has told me few times while drunk and sober that he has had feelings for me a few times over the length of our friendship. These past few months he has been trying to set me up with some guys, but it never happens and when he asks what I am looking for I always describe him...I know that my crush has grown and that I am in love with him....I tell him everything so he does know that I like him, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship because his last girlfriend (my ex-bestfriend) was a bitch and cheated on him. I tell him to give me a chance and that I'm not her,but he says that he doesn't want to hurt me. When I brought up the other guys that he was supposed to set me up with he admitted that there were never any guys...that every time he was supposed to set me up he was actually setting me up with him...then we got to talking about his brother and how he and his best friend were friends with benefits....and after talking to him on the phone for 3 hours we decided that we were going to be friends with benefits, but now I'm scared that I will fall more in love with him and when this thing ends I will be heart-broken...oh we haven't done anything yet...we have plans to "hang out" when winter break ends...is this normal?

Voting Results
66% Normal
Based on 44 votes (29 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • PandaGirl
    13 years ago

    This is normal, but yes you will get hurt. No offence but it sounds like he doesn't want you in the same way that you want him. Maybe back off a bit and he might come to his senses, you sound a bit full on and this can be a big turn off. Don't give up completely though as it can be hard to admit your feelings to somebody and it sounds like he has tried to be nice to you... Explaining why he doesn't want to go out with you etc, giving reasons so as not to embarass you. Also as you have been friends for so long he probably wouldn't want to lose you as a friend if you broke up.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
      -
    • xoxogoldfishxoxo3
      13 years ago

      Thanks for the advice, but o have been talking to him a little bit more about this..he says that even though he doesn't want a relationship he wants one with me...hes Juss scared...sooo I guess we are trying this FWB thing...when ppl think FWB they think sex. We are not doing it for sex, eventually it may happen,but really we are kinda dating in private? I guess that's the way to put it. He has told me again and again that he has wanted to ask me out and that he has wanted to "jump me" several times...we are doing this thing to see if there's a 'spark' and if there is then great if not then back to bbfs thats how it works with us. I think that once I know if either of us or none of us have that 'spark' then I will be fine wiu just being friends or going out. We have not done anything yet though since it is winter break and he is with his family. On the day we get back that is the day that we are going to hang out at his place and if anything happens then it does...we don't want to plan anything out.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    lol this is normal?

    aha but its funny i kinda do the same like if a girl likes me (which has happened quite often) then il play dumb pretending i dont know they like me and while doing that set them up with other people because i hate relationships lol

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • xoxogoldfishxoxo3
      13 years ago

      Why do you hate relationships though? Whats your reason? And he tried to set me up with "other people" but those "people" turned out to be him...so I know he wants something, but I'm not exactly sure yet what it is...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        13 years ago

        i actualy dont know :/ i dont have any want for sex i want my freedom and i know if im in a relationship i wont get my full freedom and i cba with the hassle i see too many people in relationships and they get too pathetic over the whole matter. Who knows maybe one day il change but i dont think it will happen lol.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • americanhoney
    13 years ago

    Please tell me you're 12.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    not normal. You have a crush on him, you going to be hurt on a situation as FWB.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • xoxogoldfishxoxo3
      13 years ago

      i kno that I could be hurt, but he said he likes me...he said that he'll do it and if anything happens then it does...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Your age has a lot to do with it. Maybe friends with benefits is great for now. Roll with it. If someone is not ready to be totally committed, don't push. If you feel you are waiting to long, have an open relationship which allows you both to see others, but still be intimate with one another. Kinda having your cake and eating it too ;) I wasn't ready to settle down till 28. Then married a woman who thought she was 6 years earlier. She then cheated, and so my point it who knows when you or he will be ready? Enjoy him if you have feelings for him. Keep Sex and your feelings about the person separate. I have deap feelings for 2 people in my life, i don't have sex with either one. If it ever happens, it would be nice, if not, i guess its not meant to be. Don't push it, let it happen :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • xoxogoldfishxoxo3
    13 years ago

    Yeah sure if a 12 year old is a senior in high school then sure.. If your talking about my spelling it's because I'm on my iPod and it changes my words sometimes. So I'm sorry about that. If it's because of the situation than f*ck you okay?I'm just trying to get some advice to help me make a decision that could change my friendship for the better or ruin it forever.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0