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...But I never remember why?
It's weird- Most of the time I don't even remember that I self-harmed or tried suicide and I end up finding out later.
You should seek psychiatrist before it's too late... Regret always comes too late.
Please try to get some help. What you described sounds horrible to experience, please hang in there.
You're worth more than you may think, and you're stronger than anything you're facing now, you posting this is proof of that.
It sounds like you are if you do not remember your suicide attempts. Try to pay attention to when you are missing time. Black outs are different than ordinary forgetfulness. Forgetfulness can usually be remembered when you are reminded but blackouts will create missing time in your memories.
You need help mate. Go get some psychiatric help! Urgently!
Don't post crap on IIN and have people joke about serious matters with "Jump off a cliff" jokes. Go and seek professional help.
Bullshit! it's not hard to kill your self if your trying and failing your making a pretty half arsed attempt.
Well don't. You might have built up trauma, it can effect you without you being conscious of it. I was abused when I was too young to remember much, but boy did it effect my adult life because I never sought help.