Is it normal that i hurt over things that happened over a year ago?

80% Normal
4 Comments

So I'm with this guy for a year and two months now, but we were friends for a year beforehand. About 3 months into knowing him and we both had mutual romantic feelings for each other, but were not in a relationship, he had sex with his high school best friend. I was shattered because of it. A few months later, a few weeks before we actually started our relationship he had sex 7 times with another girl and a week before our relationship, he made out with both girls.

Now that makes it from a year and two months to around two years since both incidents happened and is still get depressed about both.

Keep in mind the guy I'm with, I gave him my first kiss (in between when he had sex with the first girl and the second girl) and I also gave him my virginity. We now live together and he moved states to be with me, so we pretty much don't have the option of breaking up, not that I'd want to, but just putting it out there.

He doesn't talk to either girl now because be knows how I feel, but he gets mad at me whenever I cry about it, which is about twice a month to once every two months. I don't know why, but sometimes it just pops into my mind and I start hurting so much, like it did the first time in both situations, and I just can't seem to get over it.

Is it normal to be how I am?

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 5 votes (4 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 4 )
  • dinz
    11 years ago

    I understand why you are upset about his earlier interactions but he has made the means of moving states to live with you.

    You could potentially ruin your relationship with him if you continue like this. You need to trust him, that is extremely important.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • DADNSCAL
    11 years ago

    The question is, why are you still obsessing about it? Give up this drama before it destroys your relationship, and gives you a whole other tragedy to lament over. That being said, have you 2 ever really talked it out? It was a pretty insensitive thing he did, and he owes you an apology. It might help you get over it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • KillerZombieSheep
      11 years ago

      I'm not, that's the thing. I don't go out of my way to be like this, and I hate thinking about it, something things we do or situations we're in remind me of what's happened, hell, I can't even do doggy with him because he used to tell me it was his favorite to do with them before we were dating and it makes me feel too sick to continue. I don't try dramatize it, usually I just try hide it but sometimes it just builds up so much I can't control myself when I start crying.
      But yeah, we have, but it usually resulted in argument, so we both just try forget it all. recently one of the girls keeps trying to contact him. Things like that are what trigger my emotions to be the way they are, but yeah, he has apologized, and I accept that, but it still can't be undone, and I hate myself for being the way I am. At points I've slipped into phases of self-loathing...

      Thanks for the concern though...

      I just don't know what to do with myself..

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • DADNSCAL
        11 years ago

        OK I think this is all too complex for you to solve yourselves. Do you think he'd go to counseling with you? Are you talking marriage? If so, put your foot down, and tell him it's out of te question unless this is resolved to your satisfaction. Good luck.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0