Is it normal that i hide my tendencies from therapists?

52% Normal
16 Comments

I am a a 21 year old female. I was wondering if it's normal that I hide my tendencies toward harming myself and others, hallucinations, preoccupations with my death and the deaths or maiming of those around me, and other such things of that manner from my therapist/psychiatrist/whatever psy-thera-whatever-ist because I'm afraid of being locked up.

I take extreme measures to present myself as not inclined this way to others such as sedating myself instead of self harming or self harming in a way that does not leave marks, not speaking frequently, etc.

I have been diagnosed bipolar and a bunch of other things too but bipolar is the only one that people say with enough frequency that i believe they really mean it, besides maybe anxiety.

Is it also normal that I have these urges? And that I have the lucidity to hide them?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 46 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Tia_
    11 years ago

    Look honey. I know what your going through. I see psychiatrists I see therapists. They have helped me because I'm honest. Life ain't easy especially for people like you and me. Im depressed. I spent two full years day in and day out constantly depressed. It sucks. I have crippling anxiety. That sucks worse then the depression I think. I hallucinate have heard voices so loud I've crushed my head between my hands fell to my knees screaming but this ain't time for my story. Im just saying I've been there and I got tired of it. Life ain't worth living like that. I got suicidal. I tried it. Im still here thank god and that was the wake up I needed. I started being honest cause its the only way to get better. Yes I got locked up for a bit. Im not going to sugar coat it. It fucking sucked. I was only there for a couple weeks cause for the most part I cooperated. They found a good Med for me and let me out. And you know what? Life got bearable. It was not a miracle cure it took years of monitoring me by going to psychs and therapists and being honest! Ill say it again you will not get better without honesty.my psych and therapists know me very well now. They know I know my limits. Ill_ tell them if I need a hospital because id rather sacrifice a week locked in a hospital then live in the torture chamber my mind can be at times. Most of all I want to stress mental wings at hospitals are not by any means fun but they are not as terrible as you might be thinking. They are there to help you. Im so sorry. So so sorry your going through such hell. Your not alone. It can get better but you gotta tell the truth. Your choice now what you want out of life. Not trying to sound like a know it all jerk here or tell you what to do. I guess you just reminded me of me. I know your fear. Its scary shit. But in the end you will get better with help. If you have any questions or just want to talk with a fellow Nutter you can message me anytime.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Thank you so much. You don't sound like a know it all jerk at all. I might take you up on that! I do have some thinking to do, haha..
      I really can't thank you enough.

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      • Tia_
        11 years ago

        Your welcome. Your story just really hit me on a personal level. I've been thinking back on it all day worrying about you. Lol. I really hope you come to the right decisions for you and are healthy and happy again. I just know how it feels to be this low when everything is sadness and anxiety and fear and anger and just misery and nothing feels like a good choice. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I send you hugs and happy vibes and much support. Its funny I spend alot of time on this site but I don't comment often but this time I really care. I really hope it looks up for you.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          thank you so much <3
          sorry it took so long to respond.
          wanted to type up a big thing, but i dunno what to say, really. ;u;
          just.. thank you. <3

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  • ck123
    11 years ago

    In my opinion, therapy only works if you're willing to put in the work. You need to be honest with your therapist so that they can help you.

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  • Gravy
    11 years ago

    Nothing is normal about you post. But it is normal to take measures to prevent you incarceration. Take care sweetie. Open up to someone. And find something else to direct you talent and energies. You only live once, so we have to give the model we've been given the best ride of our lives.

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  • RandomGirl391
    8 years ago

    It is normal to hide thoughts like that but you shouldn't those are horrible thoughts that you should see someone about.

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  • Cheese123
    10 years ago

    The truth will set you free.

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  • bvb1997
    11 years ago

    Yes this is completely normal i do that all the time

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    You do sound Bi-Polar, so they probably hit the nail on the head. The fact that they diagnosed it means you DON'T hide it well at all, but being blind to this is one of your symptoms no doubt.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't hide everything. That would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it? Just things like self harm and wanting to die and outwardly hurting others that would get me locked up possibly without regards to my consent.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Bi-Polar is a severe condition, so they were able to see the extreme tendencies, they wouldn't diagnose you otherwise. And yes, part of Bi-Polar is not being in touch with reality to the extent perceived.

        You aren't in control, you just "think" you are.

        I had to live in a mental hospital for two weeks with all kinds of people. The Bi-Polar ones acted fairly normal until they spoke, and then they become obvious. The doctors see more than you think, it's their job to do so.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Those are excellent points.
          Thank you for clarifying.

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    catch-22 lol

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  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    Well yeah, if you did then you'd get institutionalized. Is THAT why you're holding back?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Yeah, because I'm scared if i start talking about it no one will believe me if I say it's stopped.
      also you reminded me that I forgot to include two other questions, thank you.

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