Is it normal that i haven't cried over my dads death?

77% Normal
6 Comments

My dad died almost 3 years ago from cancer. He was fine, got sick and 5 weeks later (just under 3 weeks from diagnosis) was dead. Obviously it was a horrible time for us all, I was a single parent with 3 children who were very close to him, as they don't have contact with their own dad, and I was very upset by it. Watching him die like that and not having much time to say goodbye was tough, and also hard for my children to deal
With. I have never had any issues with my dad and miss him, but I have never cried over his death and I don't know why? I feel bad about it and have cried about other, trivial things, but can't understand why I haven't cried over this. I feel as though I'm evil or something! Has this happened to anyone else? Am I a bad person for not crying or is it something not everyone does?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 60 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • lemon
    10 years ago

    Crying is just one way of releasing emotions, not the only way.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Seems normal. Just because someone doesn't look sad doesn't mean they aren't. The people who seem the happiest are often the most miserable.

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  • iEatZombies_
    10 years ago

    Grief comes in many forms. Just because you haven't cried doesn't mean you're not grieving. Right now you're taking care of your kid's emotions, being strong for the sake of not letting things fall apart. When it sinks in, you'll feel a lot of things. You may not ever cry, but you will go through the grief. The best advice I can give you is to let yourself go through it. You'll have the instinct to fight it, but it'll be easier on you if you don't. It's a necessary healing process.
    I'm sorry for your loss.

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  • Isabella80s
    10 years ago

    Sorry for your loss. It sounds like you might be in shock? 5 weeks isn't a very long time. And shock can be long term. People tend to think of it as just a sudden and fleeting thing, but it's not always. When you say you cry over other trivial things, could it be that the emotion is kind of seeping out through that? So it's coming out in other ways? That's quite common. Also, I imagine you've been trying to stay strong for your kids and a lot of energy must be taken up with looking after them. Is there a close friend you could speak to about all this? Perhaps get a family member to watch the kids for an evening and just have a long talk with a good friend who will understand? Speak to someone at least, because on top of the hurt from the loss of your dad, you're feeling confused as well, and it's not good to keep it all bottled up. In the longer term, it's better to talk and express what you're feeling.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    i loved my dad more than my mam but i never cried at his funeral but couldnt stop crying at my mamas dont worry about it

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  • Phishy
    10 years ago

    I'd say it may be normal to not cry often. But to not cry once does seem a bit abnormal. I'm sorry for your loss.

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