Is it normal that i have very little ambition?

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12 Comments

I am happily married, my husband earns a really good living, so I want for nothing. I work hard but I am essentially just a housewife and the manager of our three properties, even though I have both a Bachelors and a Masters degree. Ten years ago, I wrote a book that got published and still sells well on Amazon (about 10 copies a week, which is actually really good compared to most books on the market). I started a PhD but dropped out because I couldn't be bothered. I have one child: a son at medical school. I think I have achieved enough and I don't see why my friends all think that I should have a "proper career". Why do people expect women to do and have it all these days? It's not fair. Someone has to look after everybody and make the house and garden nice. Someone had to have the child (we couldn't have more because my husband became sterile from cancer). I like doing that. I work hard enough; I'm not lazy. What is it with this Protestant work ethic that brainwashes people into thinking that unless they're working all the time, their life is wasted or not virtuous? What about smelling the roses? What's the point of wealth if you can't kick back and enjoy it half the time?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 35 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • GrayGhost352
    11 years ago

    From your story I realized that this has nothing to do with your ambition. You've done a lot of shit and be proud of that. As long as you're happy and you're doing well you can tell everyone to fuck off. It sounds like you're doing just fine so keep at it and brush off what people say.

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  • Ixu
    11 years ago

    You're sorted. Sit back and play video games or something

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  • manii92
    11 years ago

    You have a beautiful life.. I'm sorry to hear about your past that's tough to deal.. One word of advice don't argue with strangers online who seem to have nothing better to do than have unnecessary comments when it wasn't asked for.. You don't have to explain yourself to not a damn person.. Enjoy your blessings..

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  • Caryopteris
    11 years ago

    I think your friends are jealous, actually. Or some people are uncomfortable if everybody doesn't do everything the way they have decided to do things. They come up with a correct way for things, and if you don't fit in their box, they are unsettled about it. This is their problem, not yours. Just realize that you can get more stuff done than other people. Family members can't adjust their schedules because they are locked into working. I only add this because my sister, who works part time, always expects me to be able to come to early dinners or be free on weekends. At times I have worked much more than 40 hours, and even when it was only 40, I often worked weekends. She could not understand.

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  • Sailor_Cosmos
    11 years ago

    I find it amusing that people with nothing to complain about will find some ridiculous, non-existent issue to wail about... those are just first world problems I guess... haha!

    Stop complaining about nonsense and enjoy your life...perhaps you really aren't being kept busy enough if you have the time to worry so much about what other people think and find problems where there are none...just saying...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I enjoy my life a great deal. As I said, I am blessed by love and money and have a great life.
      I wasn't complaining at all. I was simply asking a question that I am interested in knowing the answer to.
      Virtually all of the posts on this site are trivial compared the life and death situations that people in certain towns in Syria are facing right now. My post is quite typical of this site.
      You could argue that any person who finds the time to post on this site is not being kept busy enough.
      I was brutally beaten within an inch of my life at work earlier this year and had to leave, permanently, which is why I no longer work. I suffered serious concussion as a result of the attack and have lost some cognitive function. I was raped in my twenties by a public figure and there was nothing I could do about it. I had a horrible childhood where I was abused by mother who used to whack her violin bow across my face when I interrupted her practice. I still have faint scarring on my face after years of microdermabrasion. The idea that I have nothing to complain about is an absurd notion. You've pegged me as completely different to who I actually am. And what I've told you in this post is the just the absolute tip of the iceberg that is the suffering i have endured in my life. In fact, my doctor (and many others) have said that I am lucky to be alive. Let me give you a tip: don't jump to conclusions about people based on 50 lines of text. It doesn't mean you know them at all. It means you know a tiny fragment of an unknown whole.

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      • Sailor_Cosmos
        11 years ago

        Why did you feel the need to divulge your sordid past to me? Are you trying to prove some point? Am I suppose to feel pity for you and see you as some sort of martyr that has paid her dues and has finally been favoured by the Gods yet still has the right to complain about utter nonsense?!! Because no matter which way you cut it your post is not you asking a question it is you complaining about, essentially, nothing.

        My past and childhood are no less tragic than yours and I do not have all the wealth and luxury that you have, yet I don't sit here feeling sorry for myself looking for reasons to be dissatisfied with some aspect of my life or complaining how something is "not fair". As someone who has had unspeakable atrocities committed against her you would think by now you would have comprehended the notion that yes..it is NOT fair and it will never be fair...that's life in every sense. And instead of counting your blessings and really truly seeing all the good in your life, you sit there being negative wondering why you aren't more ambitious as if you are purposely seeking out a flaw in your now comfortable life! Then you seek to justify your complaining by using your past to validate it??

        And to answer your question you don't have any more ambition than you had in the past (because you did have a lot in the past if you really did accomplish all you say you have) because you no longer need it. All your needs are met and you have a good life, it is as simple as that. Again, you are looking for something to complain about now that you have it all. It almost seems as if you want a reason to be unhappy. Some people are like that. They are not happy unless they are unhappy if that makes any sense.

        I don't need to know a person's complete life's story to analyse their thought pattern. You can get a very good sense of a person's state of mind simply from the way they write and the language they choose to use. And the above is exactly what I gathered from you.

        You said your post is typical of this site, I beg to differ. I usually feel true empathy towards the people in the posts I read. I guess the I just found it annoying and ironic that someone who has accomplished more in her life than I'm sure the majority of people on this site is actually on here lamenting her lack of ambition!

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          I read the first line of your post, saw you being really nasty about my pain and suffering so I am not interesting in reading anymore. You come across as an online misanthrope - you're a dime a dozen - and that will only make you miserable. At the top of your IIN screen it says,
          "We're here to help each other. Play Nice!"
          So go somewhere else if you want to be nasty. It's not welcome here.
          You nastiness certainly doesn't affect me. I'm sorry if you're jealous of my success. Go out and make it happen for yourself. You obviously live in a wealthy Commonwealth country (by your spelling of analyse) or you wouldn't be typing away online in your LEISURE time, which most people don't have in most countries of the world. Go out and achieve the X-an Dream. Fill in X with your country.

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          • Sailor_Cosmos
            11 years ago

            I understand that you had a sordid past..I HAVE ONE TOO! Again, having a sordid past isn't an excuse to piss and moan go snd seeking pity from strangers!Especially when you now have a good life you should be focusing on that and not crying about something that is so irrelevant and frivolous.

            Why would I be jealous of your success? Clearly you can tell by the way I write that I am not uneducated and I do come from a wealthy Commonwealth country. I'm not loaded but I'm still young and just starting out my career and I'm unmarried and healthy and I have my entire life ahead of me...

            Clearly what I said upset you because there must be some truth to it.

            On the contrary, I do not hate people. If you read my posts the majority of them are very kind and sympathetic. Unfortunately, sometimes, I come across this type of nonsense and I have to say something. Sometimes people need a dose of reality to make them realize how trivial some of their problems actually are.

            To make such accusatory statements and to say I hate people, and I'm jealous of you, and to go out and achieve an X dream and I'm nasty and my comments aren't welcome here just prove to me that you have run out of plausible arguments to defend your nonsense and have resorted to personal attacks. Hypocrite.

            And I did help you. I answered your silly "question" and I encouraged you to stop looking for problems where there are none.

            Sorry if you brand of "tough love" didn't suit your palate.

            Good day.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    You're a made woman what else is there left to do.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    If I could I would be a housewife. That's my dream

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    Your life sounds great. Don't let your peers make you feel like you aren't living life to the fullest. The fact that you don't have to "work" to live a fulfilling life sounds ideal to me. But you are working, don't let them make you feel like you aren't.

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