Ask Your Question today
On the rare occasion that I am not the most attractive person in a group, I become overwhelmingly depressed, and I feel really lonely. I already know this isn't normal, I just don't really have anyone that would understand to talk to about it.
I wrote this a while ago, and I am sorry if it made me appear to be vain. However, there is a double standard that makes it ok for someone to identify themselves as being ugly but not good looking. It's a fact that I am attractive to MOST people, just like its a fact that someone who is 200 lbs and 5 ft tall is extremely over weight. However, after taking a few psych classes, I learned that it is normal for attractive people to feel this way because they think people only like them for their looks and don't take time to see their personality, thus depending on appearances to get them by in life.
you dont understand. its the external pressure that is placed on someone to be "looking pretty at all times"
its a common fallacy that people put on females
The OP said and I quote
"On the rare occasion that I am not the most attractive person in a group''
On the rare occasion...that's a sickening amount of vanity. I don't think this girl is under any pressure at all. She's probably been spoilt all her life and called the prettiest girl in the world, princess, etc. by her parents, but when she's around other pretty girls, she spits her dummy out and gets upset.
I always say "When you look good, you feel good" is an ignorant quote. Looking good has nothing to do with feeling good. If you put so much energy into your looks you will never find that there is so much more to life than looking good. You will always find yourself in the mirror pointing out flaws about yourself. Be happy with who you are and what you have to offer for the world. What is it that you enjoy? Society does make it seem this way, but there is so much more to life than looking good, and I promise, that when you discover that, you will find happiness. When you feel good about yourself for everything else you have, you will be able to look in the mirror and see a confident happy face. One that, in turn, looks good. It is not "When you look good, you feel good". It is "When you feel good, you look good". Happiness starts within you. Not the other way around:)
Your appearance is a matter of opinion. You should of linked a picture so we could decide if your attitude suits your physical appearance.
I value confidence, vocal tone and non conventual beauty in women more than mainstream "attractive" people. You don't have to be the prettiest in the room by normal people's standards, because there are people like me who view beauty differently. While it isn't my thing, some people even deliberately choose heavy partners.
just put some rouge on it XD
aint you a bit to busy trying to look better then Chuck Norris (man kind is a group that Chuck Norris created)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You could put a 10 and an 8 next to eachother, and a ton of men would still pick the 8 just because they may find specific features about her enticing to them, or maybe even find small flaws more enticing than no flaws. I know this because I am that type of guy. I hate perfect things.
Do you also act like a bitch because of your looks as well?
Actually I am curious about this, if you find yourself (in your opinion not in reality of course) to be the "prettiest" one in the group do you then act like it? I.e. a snob?
OR conversely if you come to the conclusion you arent the "prettiest" one in the group, do you then act out about it because of the bitterness?
No, I am not a snob. I actually didn't even identify myself with any cliques in high school because I didn't like their snobbish attitudes. I don't think I am better than other people who are less attractive, I am actually envious of some less attractive people. When someone falls in love with them, wants to be their friend ect., it's because they like who they are, not their looks. I can't ever believe that someone could see past my appearances and like me for ME.
It's normal. We all hope to be superior to others in some way or the other.
well see. its kinda normal i feel like i can relate to you to an extent.!
when i was little my parents would ALWAYS always always compare me and my sister...who was the prettiest, who was the smartest, the most talkative, the most popular....etc but they would emphasize ALOT when wed go out to social events that we "must both look pretty for the family to see."
believe me the pressure was unbelievable then and i remember thinking how sad i would feel when i wasnt "the prettiest" from my sister or my group of cousins..females..etc
thankfully i grew out of that now that im older but i dont blame you or call you vain or conceited or judge you for that because i can understand where it might come from..
:(
I wouldn't care how beautiful you are, you don't sound as though you'd be much fun to be around.
I'm sure you have more to offer than just a pretty face!!
Usually the lights are out, when you have a shag - so men don't really worry what you look like too much.
Chill out girl. I always have a crowd round me coz I have the loudest laugh and am the most confident girl in the bar - albeit the oldest :o)
It's understandable. There's always going to be someone who you think is better in some way than you are, just don't let it get to you. Focus more on what's going on at the moment than if there's anyone around who looks better than you do.
I know what you mean. And I'm not gonna jump to say you're a shallow bitch for feeling that way, because I think a lot of people whether they wanna admit it or not, have felt this way at times. But from what it sounds, you just have low self esteem, and you need a little confidence boost. Thats all. But I will agree with AssBurgers. Nobody likes a vain chick. But I totally understand how you feel.
And I will also say, that I think its one of those things where only a girl could understand and relate to. I can't speak for all women, but I feel like most of us; we're just so vulnerable sometimes, and I think we take our looks a little more seriously than a guy would. People have told me I'm pretty before, but sometimes I don't feel good enough if I'm standing right next to another girl who happens to be pretty as well. I don't think its much of a jealousy thing, but probably just the thought of being 'overlooked' or compared can make you feel alone and crummy inside. You just want to be noticed. Its a suckie feeling when you feel like you aren't good enough for somebody.
If it becomes a bigger issue than it already is, speak with a therapist about it. I think you just need some more confidence. And I'm sure you're probably very pretty. Don't worry about it. Besides, the people who matter the most will notice you anyway. Regardless of whether you are or aren't good looking, those that truly matter will care about you either way.
Oh yeah, and with that ^ being said, we're stupid, but smart enough to realize that we live in a pretty shallow society, where looks do matter, not completely, but somewhat. Sure, a lot of other things matter more... like having a brain, and being a kind person, but the world is a bitch. And because of that, we like to look nice and we feel insecure when we think we don't. We want to be accepted.
it doesn't matter how pretty you are if you have no self esteem
the people highest up got the lowest self esteem