Is it normal that i have these thoughts in a relationship? (read on)

88% Normal
3 Comments

I am a heterosexual young male. I'm currently in a relationship with a beautiful girl that I love very much. However, she is well...heavy. Anyway, I would never cheat on her and we have a fantastic relationship. But I am constantly attracted to other girls that I see. Whether it be women on tv or female classmates. (I'm a senior). Is this normal? Also, I watch porn regularly, and she knows this but she told me to only watch BBW porn or porn where the girls are heavy like she is. But yet I watch porn that is "normal" with sexy pornstars in it behind her back. This is because I'm not attracted to heavy or BBW porn; I can't get off to it. Anyway, she lives about 50 minutes away and I only get to see her every other weekend. I really feel bad because I know she loves me as much as I love her. But I can't help having these strong passionate urges and sexual thoughts about other females. Is this normal? Please help me. I've been losing a little sleep over this because I really care about her and love her so much.

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 48 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago

    There's nothing wrong with having those thoughts.

    Your partner should *never* control what porn you watch. Porn and masturbation are private, and your private sex life is something that belongs to you and can never belong to anyone else, even your partner.

    Other than that, I really don't have much advice for you. Break up with her if you want to (you're young, you've got a lot of time and you will find someone else to love who loves you too), or don't break up with her if you don't want to. Breaking up might be kinder in the long run, because you've got to make the assumption that these problems will not change. But just do what you want, whatever it is.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    She sounds extremely insecure if she "controls" the type of porn that you watch, I mean really. I don't know if this would count as amoral but have you thought about maybe exercising and dieting with her? You should start feeling insecure about yourself and say that you're going to start exercising and eating right. Maybe mention that you don't want to do it alone. Perhaps then she'll be more inclined to join you. I mean distance is gonna be a problem but if she cares about you then maybe she might join you. That's really the only advice I have if you want to make her lose weight and yourself as well.

    Alternatively you can talk to her about how you don't like it that she wants you to watch one type of porn. Tell her how you feel about that. Don't mention that you like skinny (whatever that means to you) girls, but just tell her to explain herself as to why. I mean you don't even have to watch you could just disobey her. But it's still something that perhaps you two should talk about.

    I feel like I should mention that it's normal to find other girls attractive even if you're in a relationship; hey we're only human. You say you'll never cheat and I believe that, so you should stop acting as if you already have.

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    IT's normal to be attracted to others, even though I still have issues accepting that my BF is attracted to others since my ex never even uttered a word about these things.

    Then again, it's nice to have a BF that lets you into his head too.

    Either way, I get your point. I was with a heavy boy for over four years even though I'm normally NOT attracted to chubby/heavy heck I'm drawn to SKINNY people.

    She shouldn't control the porn you watch so I get why you'd be lying to her about it. You only see her on such rare occasions so it's perfectly natural to watch porn!

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