Is it normal that i have nothing to talk about or any self-expression

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So I am a 19 year old college estudiante (currently took the semester off to work on "myself"). Let's just say I went back to college and was miserable. I felt like a walking zombie, let's not even talk about what I looked like! I felt and still feel like I am going through the steps of life without actually living. It is like every path I cross I do not want to come back to- my hometown, my high school, my friends. My days are relatively repetitious- eat, sleep, go to work and try to look alive. I wish I could say I had more interests and hobbies, but everything I do takes me forever- one of the reasons why I feel like I can't keep up with everyone. Going out in public makes me feel empty and alone and I can't get this idea out of my head that I will never be able to live on my own and make connections with people. Often times I will have a conversation with someone and they will do most of the talking and I will just smile and shake my head. I think to myself, why can't I rant about this or that without feeling self-conscious or stupid. Is it normal that I feel like I have nothing to talk about, let alone any self-expression? What are you when you lose yourself, your sense of style, and personality? When I am with a friend I tend to focus on them because I don't have much to say or offer. I am so lonely and empty because I want to live my own life, but when I think about it, I am filled with negatives. I constantly forget everything, misplace and lose everything. I am supposed to take two college classes over the summer, but I can't even imagine signing up for them when every little thing I do is such an effort. Reading and writing takes me forever and I feel like I have nothing to look forward to in the future, especially if I feel this way. No one wants to be around someone that brings them down. Any suggestions, besides think more positively!

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Based on 27 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • changes123
    11 years ago

    I misplace things of mine, then blame them on my family members... only to find it later and remember I put it there:3 xd (The following may induce fits of epiphanies)

    YOUR OPINIONS COUNT. Goodness gracious. you take the time to think them out, they possibly can't be that bad. I know some people sound "smarter" when they give theirs but hell, who gives a damn. It's what you feel. We all make mistakes, and say dumb things, but it's through these mistakes that we learn. That we progress. It's always good to think before you say something, (Some people need to learn how to do that) but not to the point that you keep quiet. Or just agree. I feel like I bore people some time, but oh damn well. I have other people who value my opinions good-day-sir. My mom, My teddy bear |mr.cat|, see the list can just go on and on.

    QUALITY BEATS QUANTITY. I have a friend who I think is the offspring of a sloth+Snail. She once took 6 hours putting make up on and getting dressed to get ready for a date. (Literally did not take a break to even eat)
    I really admire her tenacity when it comes to school work. She will not stop until she understands the concept regardless of the time. And that's why I feel she's benefiting from her college experience, because she actually is putting her 100%. It's a gift not many people have, wear it like banner. And take your time while you put on that banner too.

    You write very well! this post probably took some time, but the outcome is great!

    Just know that you are worth it. Don't feel like you have to listen to other peoples problems, because you don't think yours are worthy, or that your opinions don't count. You exist my friend. You're alive and kicking. Feel free to message my inbox whenever you want.

    Remember that old commercial from the 90s about electricity? "be on alert, don't get hurt." Think of this in the same tune. *Don't psyche yourself out, let it out.*

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    i think keep busy with the study ,the time's going to pass anyway at least you'll have qualifications , then you'll have more options

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  • beeblebreeblereeb
    11 years ago

    I felt exactly like this when I was your age. I'm 25 now and I don't feel that way anymore. In six years life happened and I changed, which is exactly the thing I thought would never happen.I still have my moments, but they are different sorts of moments, and ultimately I feel like I have a life that is my own, and friends that I have meaningful relationships with.

    A lot of the stuff I used to obsess over--am I an empty person? a non-person with no substance? do I even have the capacity to develop talent? will I ever have anything to SAY?--I just don't even think about anymore ever.

    I highly recommend mindfulness meditation.

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  • kingsleycrowne
    11 years ago

    You just need self belief, then you will become more self assured with experience.

    P.S. I think you're really interesting and I would personally like to meet you!

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Arrrrgh my beautiful eyes.

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  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    You need to find something to live for.

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