Is it normal that i have never masturbated

21 Comments

When I was in middle school I literally though masturbation was an inside joke, that it was something no one really did only depraved adults. I’ve had access to the internet my whole life and have not lived in a sheltered home by the way. If you think this is a religious thing I grew up in a house with zero religion and I am not religious.
Never felt the urge to masturbate and probably never will, but I’m not ace...I’m pretty sure at least.

not normal, but nothing wrong with it	12
It’s normal	6
You’re an acegot	4
It’s unhealthy	2

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Comments ( 21 )

Boojum

2 years ago

There's nothing wrong with you, and there's also nothing wrong with people who find sex - solo or with someone else - enjoyable. They shouldn't look down on you, and you shouldn't condemn them as "depraved".

A problem only exists if you feel you're missing something from your life, and you can't figure out how to fill that need or maybe even identify what that need is.

You say you watched porn in your early teens and it did nothing for you. I'm not surprised. It's not uncommon for women to watch and enjoy porn, but many women find that porn - particularly mainstream porn that's aimed at a male audience - isn't sexually arousing at all for them.

It's possible your neural wiring means that you simply have very little interest in sex and you never will. You'll be able to have a happy and fulfilling life even if that's the case, although you have to accept that you'll spend that life surrounded by references to sex and sexual attraction because sex is an important part of life for the majority of people.

But it's also possible that you simply haven't yet connected with the sexual part of yourself. Throughout history, there have always been people who simply weren't interested in sex, but our species wouldn't exist if the drive to have sex wasn't hardwired into most people.

While your OP implies that you believe you grew up in a family environment which wasn't overtly hostile to sex, the fact that you say your only sexual dream involved a man with a diseased penis suggests you picked up and internalised some sex-negative - or maybe male-negative - attitudes from somewhere.

And, yeah, while it's not unknown for women to have a sexy dream and wake up in the middle of an orgasm, proper wet dreams are a male thing (and almost always experienced by guys who aren't masturbating or having sex regularly enough as far as their bodies are concerned).

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  woah that’s probably the best reply I’ve gotten. I guess my problem is that because of the constant sex jokes and media all around me makes me feel ashamed and different that it doesn’t do much for me. Thank you for the reply it was really well written.
  
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lukeuser

2 years ago

It is really not unhealthy, I don't know why someone said it was. It does sound a bit unusual. It could just be that you have a lower than normal sex drive, but you should really keep in mind that being asexual isn't something to be ashamed about if you are. It's one thing to say you've never masturbated, but to say you never will really makes me wonder if you are asexual. The fact you say you are 'pretty sure' doesn't sound very convincing. Just don't allow yourself to be forced to do anything you don't want to.

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- Tinybird
  
  2 years ago
  
  I'm asexual and I masturbate. It's just that I don't think about people when I do it, I think of tornadoes or watch tornado videos, because I'm attracted exclusively to them. However I am completely asexual towards all humans. I'm not the poster btw
  
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  - SkullsNRoses
    
    2 years ago
    
    I came here to make the same point, asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction not the inability to feel arousal or masterbate.
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  Yep I’m pretty sure I’m on the spectrum of asexsuality, but not sure where. I’m not a full on asexual tho. I Just get very little satisfaction of sexual pleasure and have zero interest in doing the activity alone.
  
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  - lukeuser
    
    2 years ago
    
    You don't like watching porn? What about getting 'feelings' when you see/meet someone attractive? Do you fantasise about sexual things with people you have a crush on (if you have crushes)? Don't have to answer, but they seem the obvious things to consider when trying to figure things out.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      2 years ago
      
      I watched porn as a kid cuse it was nee to me, but when I turned 14 I got tired of it.
      I nearly even have crushes. My last crush was 2/3 years ago and I never fantasied about him other than being friends. Then I realised I was just lonely and wanted him as a friend not a partner lol
      
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- Clunk42
  
  2 years ago
  
  "Depraved" does not mean unhealthy for one's body.
  
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  - lukeuser
    
    2 years ago
    
    I think you're confused. I wasn't referring to your comment, or to masturbating. I was referring to someone voting that "it's unhealthy", meaning it's unhealthy to have never masturbated.
    
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    - Clunk42
      
      2 years ago
      
      Sorry, I was thinking you were referring to a comment, and there was only one other comment besides your own: mine. To be honest, I didn't even realize this was poll.
      
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SkullsNRoses

2 years ago

There is nothing wrong with masterabtion but there is also nothing wrong with not masterbating, it’s a private activity to be done (or not done) on your own terms. In terms of being asexual it only means that you don’t find other people sexually attractive and has no effect on ability or desire to masterbate, asexuals just don’t masterbate over other people.

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DADNSCAL

2 years ago

Tell that to the priest. Then you must’ve had plenty of wet dreams.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  Actually I’ve never had a wet dream. The closest I’ve had to one was of a naked dude standing by a river with some sort of STD’s on his dick. But I just swam away, cuse that shit was disgusting. And I’ve heard wet dreams are more common in men than women. So it may not be wired that I’ve not had one.
  
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  - GaelicPotato
    
    2 years ago
    
    That's not a wet dream.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      2 years ago
      
      no shit, I said that in the beginning of the comment
      
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jethro

2 years ago

What's an acegot? Also there ate two types of people. Those who masturbate and those who lie about masturbating and say that they don't.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  An acegot is the word fagot for asexuals, and that joke was so funny I forgot to laugh
  
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Clunk42

2 years ago

"it was something no one really did only depraved adults."

You thought correctly.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  2 years ago
  
  I hoped so, it’s just all the masturbation jokes like no nut November, is it actually real? How can masturbating be so fun that going 30 days without it is a challenge?
  
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  - Clunk42
    
    2 years ago
    
    That was created by r/nofap to help people get over masturbation addiction. It is a real thing, and masturbation addiction is a real thing. Think of it like a drug. A small amount of it may not be particularly unhealthy for your body, but an addiction is very bad for you.
    
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal that i have never masturbated