Is it normal that i have a serious talk with myself?
I, like any young adult, face problems every once in a while. In the last 5 years or so, I stopped talking to people about my problems and my feelings in general for many reasons. First, my mother as well as some of my friends worry sick if they know that I'm having troubles or feeling bad! Seriously they will feel worse than how I feel! So, I always pretend to be fine in front of them. Second, those who are not too empathetic but still care a lot about me, mainly my siblings and the rest of my friends, will pity me and I detest being an object of ANYONE's pity. It makes me feel that I was stripped out of my clothes if you know what I mean!
Therefore, I keep all my problems and feelings to myself. This was fine up until a while ago. I started to feel really depressed and stupid ideas like hurting myself started to cross my mind. Of course I'll never hurt myself, but just having those thoughts is really disturbing. What scared the sh*t out of me though, is that recently I started to talk to myself •_• I realize that I'm doing so only after a while of a long serious chat with myself! As funny as it sounds, it makes me feel like sh*t! -_- Now, I try my best to distance myself from everyone in order not to trouble them with my crazy drama. I really hate how pathetic I am right now and I don't want to continue to be like that.
My question is: Is it normal to feel this way? I mean is what's happening to me something temporary and will go when my life gets better?