Is it normal that i have a hard time finding women to date?

80% Normal
19 Comments

I often times hear stories about men who date multiple women at a time, or have at least one date planned a week. I just don't get how that's possible. I'm in a few different social groups, play some intramural sports, visit friends on some weekends - and this is in addition to a 40 hr/week job. None of these things seem to help me see any new faces, let alone women who are actually single.

I do manage to have dinner with a girl maybe once every 2-4 months, because she just happened to be at an event with a distant friend of mine, or I was lucky enough to strike up a conversation with someone on the dating site that I'm on. It never works out though. I know the saying "dating is a numbers game", but there seems little hope if I can only get 2-5 dates a year.

I've been to single events too and am on a dating site, but it seems so contrived, and the women don't come off as very interested in me. Just trying to get phone numbers from those people is like pulling blood from a stone.

I also don't have any close friends, limiting my opportunities to be social. I'm the kind of guy where if I threw a party of my own, I'm not even sure if I could get anyone to come.

Voting Results
80% Normal
Based on 56 votes (45 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 19 )
  • Sog
    11 years ago

    So I managed to get out to the bar by myself last night and was lucky enough to get some nice girl's number.

    I don't really expect this one to pan out, but I guess that's enough motivation to make this a weekly ritual.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Did you have to harrass her to get it or she willingly gave it up??

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • EVIL1234
    11 years ago

    for some its easy for others its not

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Dot123
    11 years ago

    Gotta play the field a bit more. Test the women out.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    start clubbing. youll meet a lot of sexy single girls.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Because you live in arrogant and depraved America

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Sog, are you angry? Heyyy Mr.Grumpy gills, you know what you gotta do when life gets you down?.. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, what do we do? We swim, swim. :D But if you want a straight up answer, it's probably not the norm for anybody to get a crap load of dates in a year, that would take a fuck load of effort. BUT If your really looking for a bunch of shitty dates, you've been looking in the wrong places. You have to go to the bar/clubs. Women actually go there to get picked up. They're expecting random men to walk up and invite them to have a drink. DO IT. Get laid sog. DO. IT.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Wow, did I write this post myself when I was asleep?? My God you sound just like me when it comes to the dating game. I never understood how some of these guys do get multiple dates in a week, even if they are shitty dates. And just trying to get phone numbers does seem like pulling blood from a stone doesnt it? I say why bother?, Let those women have the douchebag guys, serves them right for wanting them anyway. Then they can turn around and say "I just dont understand why he cheated on me" and still take the guy back afterwards. I say who cares? Just let it go. Like I said why bother if there is a high probability of looking stupid just for trying to talk to them.

    Besides you cant honestly sit here and tell me you see any married men that are as happy as married women, or conversely any single women that are happier then single men? I sure dont.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Sog
      11 years ago

      I have to say I disagree with pretty much all of this. I would rather have a steady stream of shitty dates than none at all. That way at least I know I'm getting somewhere and it's only a matter of time before I find someone I want to be with.

      But I can't even do that. Aside from harassing random attractive strangers that I might pass during the day, I just don't understand how I'm supposed to meet people.

      I'm also not going to be so bitter to try to argue that everyone married or in a relationship is unhappy/stupid/douches/cheaters. There are many happy people in relationships.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        So let me get it straight you just posted a story about the frustrations of the dating game, but you would rather have the stream of going nowhere dates? Sure your not a woman with your flip flopping? Well anyway, good for you, at least you arent giving up at all. I see it now, your just venting. Enjoy harassing random attractive strangers, just realize you are probably the 8th guy that day to try to talk to them, and if you did a bad enough job (which your use of the term "harrassment" instead of "talking to" suggests) then you will probably be a good joke to rehash on the next girls night out.

        Your reading comprehension is poor as well, the basic point from the last part of my initial post was that marriage benefits women more then men. Not that everyone that is married is a unhappy/stupid/douche, whatever. Does it sound bitter? Well, maybe, but I just call it like I see it. Lets call it the "bitter truth".

        Enjoy your dates, well the one's you get. And good luck, I mean it, sounds like you will need it.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Sog
          11 years ago

          It looks like you're the one who has poor reading comprehension.

          I said the problem was with the quantity of dates, not the quality. I accept the fact that not all people I meet will be compatable, and the only way to overcome that is to increase the number of people I date. Because I only seem to be able to come in contact with one single, datable person every few months or longer, the odds are stacked against that person being someone who I'd like to spend a lot of time with.

          Approaching random people is not something that I do, and I don't believe at all that it's an effective way to meet people. I was trying to argue that, as ineffective ridiculous as it is, it appears to be the only way to have contact with so many new people each day/week/month.

          Marriage benefits women more than men? That sounds VERY bitter to me, and is definitely not true. I have no doubt that you believe this though.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            Still venting huh? I understand what you are saying completely even though you do a poor job of it. Stop complaining about it and defending it in the same post. Man up and meet women or be content with being single.

            Just because you point out that approaching random people is stupid BUT seems to be the only way to meeting new people (which I can sort of agree with or at least understand) and I think thats a waste of time and wouldnt bother doing it myself that makes me bitter? Not really, I just choose not to make a fool out of myself, which you are probably doing, on the off chance this person I am talking to is a potential relationship. But by all means you lead the way, in fact I am one less competitor you have to concern yourself with.

            You are also likely to be under 30 yrs old with the majority of friends not married, if any are at all. So you have no first hand experience of what marriage is.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • ccjigsaw
              11 years ago

              Maybe Sog doesn't get dates cause he likes to argue? Bitches love men who don't argue.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              1
              1
            • Sog
              11 years ago

              Listen.

              I just came here to ask a simple question - if it's normal or not to expect x amount of dates in a reasonable time. The other possibility being that people lie about their dating lives, and the media portrays something that is not realistic. That's what this site is for, right?

              All the other things about women dating cheating douches, men being inherently unhappy in marriage, and approaching strangers (which you completely misunderstood and aparently still don't understand what my point was) you brought up yourself and is completely irrelivant to the post.

              I would also say that you're doing yourself a great disservice by trying to protect yourself from "making a fool out of yourself". Take risks and win. But again, that's not the point of this post and is a sidebar comment.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
  • CheyChey
    11 years ago

    Do you appear too eager when trying to get their numbers that could be a disadvantage. find new activities that you like so you can socialize more, go outside that circle of friends you have & make more friends, not getting a date shouldn't worry you so much it'll happen when it happens, i personally blame movies for our high expectations as a society on dating, love etc. it's unrealistic. be confident with yourself & go to your party confidence is what is attractive i think

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Sog
      11 years ago

      I don't really think I'm being too eager at all. Actually I have very little patience to chase them around. I went to this singles thing on Friday and it really didn't get me anywhere. I chatted with about 4-5 women there and asked one for her number right before she left. She said I should just contact her through the website instead. I told her no, I don't want to use the site and I wanted to call her. She left, and that was that.

      It doesn't bug me though because as far as I'm concerned she either wasn't interested or if she was she missed her chance. I'm not going to contact her though the site.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0