Is it normal that i hate when people are obese and unhealthy?

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28 Comments

And I'm not saying someone who is simply large-framed/big-boned/etc. I have met people who are overweight but still perfectly healthy simply due to genetics, and there is nothing wrong with that. But when I see someone obese, who is not being hindered by depression/side effects of medication/certain health conditions (I have only sympathy for people who are under those circumstances) and simply chooses to be so overweight that they are unhealthy, it makes me mad. I know it is hard to lose the weight, but people who don't even try just strike me as so lazy. If you are unhealthy and obese but are at least making an effort to change, I respect you. But if you continue to not exercise and eat way too much simply due to laziness and a lack of self-control, you are just as bad as a drug addict or alcoholic. You are destroying your body and yourself. This is only about health, not how one looks or anything. Again, this does not apply to people with health conditions, depression, or need to take medication that has side effects such as extreme hunger/weight gain, or people that are totally healthy but just overweight due to genetics/a large frame. Is this normal?

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65% Normal
Based on 71 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    "you are just as bad as a drug addict or alcoholic"

    Exactly. What they need is help, not judgement.

    "lack of self-control"

    Surely this explains their behaviour, to some extent. How is it their fault if they have no self-control? Not everyone is born with good self-control, and not everyone can change. Again, are you really going to criticise them for that? Either way, I don't really believe that it's a matter of free will, it never is.

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    • kelso
      11 years ago

      Hmmm, yes I do agree that they need help, but why can't they go out and get it? I know there is a small margin of people that have no possible way of getting help. But I've met people who could but simply choose not to. And on the second part, I think you are partially right in the fact that some people are not raised to have self-control. But it is possible for everyone to change.

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  • NotFloydzie
    11 years ago

    My friend, nobody really wakes up in the morning and says "Oh my goodness. I really want to be unhealthy and disgusting while putting myself at risk of all these diseases and physical problems".

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    • kelso
      11 years ago

      I know, it is a longtime thing probably coupled with various other problems, maybe from childhood. But I am saying it makes me angry that they destroy their own body without making even an effort to change it. If they do make the effort I respect them, if not, that's what I don't like.

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      • VioletTrees
        11 years ago

        How do you know who's making an effort and who isn't? Very nearly every fat person who I've ever talked to (or who's written an article or blog post I've read) has put effort into losing weight. It's not really escapable in a society that tells you that being fat is wrong. Some of them eventually give up, but there are sometimes legitimate reasons for that (this woman's struggle with bulimia led her to realise that dieting is part of her bulimic behaviour: http://www.xojane.com/healthy/im-saying-goodbye-diets-and-hello-pasta-bread-peanut-butter-avocado-and-full-fat-cheese and this woman stopped dieting after habitual dieting destroyed her gallbladder: http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-me/dieting-fat-two-whole-cakes-excerpt ). If and when somebody tries to lose weight is their own business, and choosing not to is not permission for you to disrespect them. When people do lose weight, they should do it for themselves, not because it's the only way for them to get your respect.

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        • ptpatpathos
          11 years ago

          Touche'! Very good answer! I'm wondering why it is even her business.!! She should post an untouched pic of herself And let us ctritique Her!!!!!

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        • kelso
          11 years ago

          Hmmm... based on what you put I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I don't think being fat is wrong. I think being unhealthy is wrong. And plenty of skinny people are unhealthy too, they just have high metabolisms. I just hate when people throw their health away. Last sentence I agree with completely. You should be happy with your body no matter shape it is, because I know if you are truly unhappy with yourself you will still be unhappy with it even after you lose the weight. I am saying they should lose the weight only for health purpose, it has nothing to do with appearance. And I'm saying this issue in particular because it gets less recognition than say, drug addiction or smoking, yet it could easily be the hardest one to get out of.

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          • VioletTrees
            11 years ago

            It doesn't get less recognition than drug addiction or smoking, though, at least in the US and the UK. Do you pay attention to the news? Every media outlet is flipping its shit about the obesity crisis all the time.

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    First of all, you can't tell how somebody got fat by looking at them. You can't tell if it's a medical condition, medication, depression, compulsive overeating disorder, or lifestyle. How do you decide whether to respect somebody? Do you interview every fat person you meet about their medical history and mental health, or do you just assume?

    It sounds like you think that if somebody is fat because of their lifestyle, it's because they've chosen to be fat. You're mistaken. Except in a few rare choices, people don't choose to be fat. They make choices that lead to being fat, but that's very different in practice. It's extremely difficult for many people to lose weight, and if people want or need to prioritise other parts of their lives over weight loss, that's their decision. Also, even modest weight loss can be extremely beneficial to morbidly obese people, which means that some of the people you think are throwing their health away may have already worked to significantly decrease their health risks.

    It's normal to be concerned about people close to you who are unhealthy, but I think you should re-examine your feelings. Are you upset about obesity just because you're concerned, or are you upset because of the stigma and moral judgements our culture attaches to obesity? It sounds like the latter, to me. You can't tell how healthy or unhealthy somebody is by looking at them. Yes, being obese raises your risk of developing a variety of illnesses, but there are obese people with no obesity-related illnesses. There are also thin people with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. There are many unhealthy lifestyle choices people can make, but those that lead to obesity carry the heaviest stigma because you can see them.

    The bottom line is that people shouldn't have to earn your respect by being a certain shape. Fat people are people, adults who deserve a basic level of human respect. Does it make you happier to be angry at people for being fat? Does it make you feel better about yourself? I don't really understand what the point of putting all this energy into judging people based on their weight. How is the fact that some people are fat hurting you?

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    • kelso
      11 years ago

      I'm not angry at them for being FAT. I'm not angry at them for looking a certain way. I said a million times, I only care because they are throwing their health away. Again, it's not like I look at a person and think "Wow, they must have done this to themselves." But I have met many obese people who are simply lazy. I have met plenty of people who are quite overweight but still lead a healthy lifestyle. And really? Just because someone might NOT get diseases, it's okay? And trust me, I can see things in many other unhealthy habits. I've met smokers who have stained teeth, disgusting yellow nails, and the smoker voice. That's easy to see. And you know what, I don't respect drug addicts/alcoholics either because they are throwing their lives away too. You are so damn lucky to have a life and opportunities and you just waste them being unhealthy and putting yourself at risk, no matter how you are doing it. If they need help, whatever, go out there and get it, whether it's therapy or a nutritionist or even just a supportive friend, go out there and get it. And again, as long as the person is HEALTHY,
      I don't care how they look or whatever.

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      • VioletTrees
        11 years ago

        It doesn't mean it's ok, it means it's none of your business. You don't know all the details of fat people's lives by looking at them.

        It seems like you're putting a lot of energy into worrying about other people's lives and resenting them for that. Like I said before, concern is normal, but when you're posting on the internet about how much you hate it when people are obese, it seems like your concern isn't healthy anymore. Be concerned, sure, but set adult boundaries, and don't interfere in parts of people's lives that aren't your business. A basic level of respect is something all people should get, not something they should have to earn by making lifestyle choices you approve of, no matter how right you might be about those choices.

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        • kelso
          11 years ago

          You know what? You're right. My problem is I was just using the word "fat". I just don't like unhealthy habits. Who cares if someone's fat. Thanks for that.

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          • VioletTrees
            11 years ago

            Thank you! It's lovely to have these conversations be productive.

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  • Frozen_Stair
    11 years ago

    That's just not right.
    I'm a messed up person. I don't choose to be. And I'm willing to do a LOT of unhealthy things to make myself feel better when I'm upset/crazy.
    If eating could be one of those things, I would do it.
    Unfortunately, I never really enjoyed food though. And it actually never succeeds at comforting me. And my stomach is way too small to hold any normal-sized meal.
    But if my genetics were not so lucky, I'd be obese too.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I can't say I hate it but it is unhealthy. Hate is a thing best reserved for the ideas that divide humanity, rather than humanity itself.

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  • anti-hero
    11 years ago

    Food can be an addiction. It is funny that you compare them to addicts and alcoholics. Think of it this way, they are addicted to food but they must eat to stay alive. If you told an alcoholic that he can't get drunk but he has to drink 3 drinks a day to stay alive, how long do you think he could last before drinking more than 3?

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    • kelso
      11 years ago

      Okay, but what about exercise? Even if you are addicted to food you can still exercise. And if it gets to that point it's mental illness and you need medical help, I'd think.

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      • VioletTrees
        11 years ago

        If you're overeating by a significant amount, exercise alone isn't a practical solution. You have to address the eating problem, and the fact is that some people don't have the time and resources to do that. It might be possible for them to rearrange their lives to the point where it would become possible, but it's not your decision whether that's worth it for them.

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        • kelso
          11 years ago

          I don't understand how you would need to re-arrange your life for a healthy diet. There are plenty of healthy meals you can make in-expensively and very quickly. I could make a salad for less than 50 cents in about 5 minutes. It's all about willpower. And I know it's not my decision, obviously, but it makes me angry someone would throw their life away like that and how it's not recognised as a serious health condition like drug addiction and alcoholism are.

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          • VioletTrees
            11 years ago

            You have to have the energy and motivation to do it, though, and you have to learn how to do it. I do think more people are capable of it than think they are, and I also think it's worth doing; however, I recognise that it's not my decision to make, and that it would be inappropriate to resent people for making choices in their lives that don't really affect me.

            Also, where I live, obesity IS thought of as a serious health condition, so I'm not sure what you're talking about there.

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            • kelso
              11 years ago

              I don't hate the person themself,
              I hate what they are doing, or rather what they are not doing. And obviously it's not my decision to make, just saying I'm mad that they choose not to. I'm not trying to force people to do anything or hate anyone. Just dislike their habits.

              Maybe that's a reason we feel differently; it's not taken very seriously where I live.

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      • anti-hero
        11 years ago

        I can agree to that, but if you are already fat it is hard to exercise. I see your point though.

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  • ilovedoodles
    11 years ago

    I'm surprised at how many people are sticking up for obese men and women that made themselves the way they are. It's 100% their fault.

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    • Frozen_Stair
      11 years ago

      Well, what if they don't care?
      What if they were abused when they were children and always turned to food for comfort?
      Or what if maybe they're just crazy and messed up and need something to make themselves feel better.
      Or maybe they don't value their health AT ALL and could care less if they die early?
      Or what if that person never learned diligence/patience/self-control when he was a child (which would be the parent's fault)?
      Blah.

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      • kelso
        11 years ago

        First 4 I'd say they need therapy because well, if you are addicted to food and use it as comfort that's mental illness. 5th alright, I'll take that.

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  • coolio75650932
    11 years ago

    so you hate your mom?

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    • kelso
      11 years ago

      I'm not saying I hate the indiviual, maybe they're a great person. I hate that they are obese and choose to not change it. They're just destroying themselves by doing that.

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      • coolio75650932
        11 years ago

        yea your mom... she hasnt changed. *shudder* she blow drys her fat rolls! yuck!

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