Is it normal that i hate myself for being gay?

You've had no negativity about being gay, and you're very fortunate to be accepted by the people closest to your heart, so what do you actually hate about being gay? You can't help who you're attracted to, the more you think about it the more you are going to get yourself down. Everyone else has accepted you're gay but it seems you haven't?

I'm fighting with very similar demons myself, so yes, I'd say it's normal in the sense that self-loathing is something that commonly occurs amongst gay people. However, it's not healthy by any means. My family accepts me. My friends accept me. I've never been abused or bullied at all. But at 19 years of age, I'm emotionally, mentally, and even physically damaged from years of self doubt, self loathing, and depression in general. A good portion of it for me has to do with society's negative views on homosexuality, mostly in thanks to religious texts which I disagree with (being raised Atheist I simply don't buy into the whole God thing, but the difference is I have never personally told someone to not be religious whereas many religions attempt to tell people they cannot be gay), but also due to my struggles socially. I said I was never bullied but I didn't say I've ever had a significant other or been able to manage more than 2 friendships at a time. Friends are always coming and going and I don't associate with other gay people. Not for any reason but I always fall for straight guys and then find out they're more fun to chill with anyway. Currently I'm madly in love with a friend who is straight and my only true friend at the moment. It sucks.

But my point in all this is that it's normal, albeit unhealthy, to feel massive amounts of self doubt, depression, etc., simply because you've identified as gay, but in my opinion if society wasn't so blind, ignorant, and intolerant to portray gays in such a negative light by using stereotypes (which I fucking hate by the way. Most people picture gays as overly effeminate/flamboyant thanks to stereotypes and it gives gay metalheads with long hair, beards, and no lisp like me a bad name) and cliched, dated religious texts against us we'd be much better off.

all your comments are particularly interesting. im an in the closet homosexual. personally i dont jusdge anybody or anyone on anything but putting my experience in play generates the theory that homosexuality is some sort of disease or chemical inbalance. i was never abused, brought up in a diverse strict religious background, and was not introduced to homosexuality until i turned 16 and began traveling out of my city alone. i dated girls my whole life always knowing i would one day get married and have a typical american family and lifestyle, but growin up i was never able to connect with my girlfriends like my boys would with ther girls. i then became really close with one of my guys friends and unfortunately grew feelings for him and realized that this wasnt normal. im in my early 20s now and even tho i realized im gay i would never choose this lifestyle, You cannot help who you naturally fall for, i still try to get into serious relationships with woman but i cant get hard no matter how much i try or want to. i would give up all my wealth to be able to love a woman. dont get me wrong i am in no way ashamed of who i am and i know god has his reasons for making me this way, but this is definately not a choice!!!

Yes it is pretty normal; Healthy, No. But Normal, Yes. I don't understand why you hate yourself in your situation, it could certainly be much worse for you. But its not my place to judge. I personally think you should work on some self-love because I don't think you have any reason to hate yourself, but you should know that you arn't the only person with this problem. It happens to many.

You should never hate yourself for any reason.

I don't believe in following a strict label, because then you're boxing yourself in.

I'm a female, and I was in love with a girl once (for 5 years, but I did nothing about it). I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't want anyone to tell me who I was.. or that I had to follow some strict label. I wanted to decide for myself.

I worked out some issues through books (because I was abused), talked to people I trusted (I'm religious), and now I have a boyfriend who I've been in love with longer and more than any boy or girl.

If you think a woman will make you happy, maybe you need to wait for the RIGHT woman. I hear that if you stop looking and go about your life following your goals and dreams, things fall into place and love will find you.

As a gay guy, I can relate to that. Though I was abused as a kid and I associated my own sexual desires with the abuse.

I guess if you know you are gay you are almost certainly gay. I wouldn't take the advice of the people above, if it was me. I got engaged to a woman and lived with her for years. But I was living a lie, I still liked guys the whole time. You can learn to live with being someone you are not really attracted to, but it will always be there as elephant in the room if you will. Eventually you will wake up or she will.

I recommend just getting out there taking the plunge and meeting and talking with as many gay guys as possible really. The best way to realize that there are people out there who want the same affirming relationships as everyone else is to get out there and mingle. You don't necessarily need to date just see if you can meet people.

It is hard to find someone who loves you for you when your gay but it is hard for everyone.

It's normal bc homosexuality is not natural. It is caused by chemical imbalances during pregnancy which literally changes your brain chemistry, thus your brain and who you are.

It's normal. There's a huge stigma towards anything even remotely homosexual among a good number of guys. But by the sound of it, you seem more bisexual than gay, seeing as you are interested in dating girls. If you were gay, then you would only want men. As in a matter of fact, you're very lucky to have never been bullied about it, and have very accepting parents, plenty of gay guys don't have that luxury.

This is coming from a straight guy.

I hate being gay too.

I think you're in denial with some part
Of you. Don't be! Maybe you're
Bisexual. Don't put a strict label on
Yourself.

You are a man. You are wired to be attracted to women. You can overcome the sin of homosexuality. A man is made for a woman. That's why you hate being gay, because it isn't right. Something inside you is telling you it isn't right. You want to love a woman because that's what men do. Please, please accept Jesus Christ into your heart and He can rid you of your homosexuality!! I promise, Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light. God bless you man. You can overcome this. You're a man. God made you a man. One day you're gonna be a great, strong husband to a beautiful wife! In Jesus' name, all things are possible.

No, I have thought about this and that wouldn't make sense because A) homosexuality has been around pretty much since we have (before overpopulation was a problem) B) it isn't nearly enough to stop overpopulation or even curb it (our population has grown despite homosexuality) and C) there is no evidence to suggest any species has developed defects to reduce their population. Nature doesn't work that way from everything we can tell. It works more like "survival of the fittest" (let the weak, maladaptive genes die out).

(New/off topic)

Unfortunately, humans have prevented natural selection within our own populations and are actively pursuing dysgenics (encouraging the lowest IQ and least creative/disciplined populations to reproduce exponentially while culturally discouraging the most intelligent from producing at even replacement level). The opposite of eugenics. Policies like welfare and giving foreign food aid without requiring any fertility requirements (i.e. using contraceptives or voluntary sterilization would be examples that are hurting humanity as a whole. It is artificial selection of the least capable which can only result in bad things for humanity and our earth. I think that policies should ve implemented that encourage the most intelligent, healthy/fit families that are financially stable to reproduce at above replacement level (such has tax credits, extended family health insurance, etc) and policies discouraging financially unstable, low IQ, genetically unhealthy people (i.e. people with heritable diseases). Things in the later category would include things like voluntary sterilization in exchange for a lifetime of free healthcare, tax credits, and even monthly stipends because it would be most beneficial to all of humanity in the long run.

LOL well you must be very sheltered if that is "the most horrible thing" you've ever heard. Just because you feel something someone said is offensive/hurtful doesn't make it mot true. Nor was what I said even remotely offensive except for people who wear their feelings on their sleeve and are offended by the truth. There is one peer-reviewed Swedish study from 2008 if I recall correctly that shows the brain differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals. There are multiple peer-reviewed studies done in recent years that explain how hormonal imbalances during pregnancy cause homosexuality, or that it is at least the major leading cause. I suppose there are some people who are just sexually weird or others who have suffered from abuse, but for the large majority it is not a choice. You can't "pray the gay away." That would be like praying to end all thoughts. It's just not possible to change the way we're "wired." I understand the "controversial" thing I said was that homosexuality is unnatural, that it is a defect. This is not an opinion though, it is fact. A homosexual of any species of any animal that needs the opposite sex to procreate is a biological defect. It has a very low chance of continuing the species and only serves to consume resources that other members of said species could use to further their species and genes. Only strong social structures, such as those enforcing traditional, nuclear families, which are largely gone now were able to biologically "correct" this (e.g. homosexuals would mary and have kids even if they were attracted and had relations with other men).

I think overpopulation is a huge problem so I don't care about most people reproducing, but what I said is correct from an evolutionary or even just a scientific standpoint.

So, is it normal to hate yourself for being defective in one way or another? Yes. And you will also find numerous studies showing that homosexuals have much higher rates of depression, drug abuse, and suicide.

While many try to interpret this data as due to "homophobic" and I accepting cultures, I disagree. I think it's due to brain abnormalities. I have noticed that most homosexuals are highly emotionally unstable and have certain neurotic tendencies that appear similar to manic depressive/bipolar disorder.

Now that last paragraph was OPINION, not fact like the rest of what I said.

Btw, I didn't include links bc I'm on my phone. If you're interested in these studies you can find them all online with simple google searches.

O.M.G Dont hate yourself for being gay!!!
its not your fault!!! Who Fucking Gives A shit if your gay. If u wanna be a women so bad why dont u try one?? get your ass out there a try it... You never know u might like it.(:

I have a gay friend that married his best female friend. His wife has never really had much of a sex drive and loves him for who he is. It must be working for them because they have been married for over a decade now and they love each other to death. Maybe something like this would work for you.

Unfortunately thats normal. But only you can change how you feel about yourself. No one else can do that for you.

"I want to be in love with a woman so bad"

I agree don't label yourself gay or straight or Bi.
What would be best is you try to follow your heart and find a woman to love.

All 3 comments above are good too, but just wanted to remind you what you said.

My views on sexualality are based on religious morals. I am not exactly homophobic, but I do believe that it is wrong morally although I am friends with some people who are gay and do not judge people because of it. I do not see being gay as your fault but I would support trying to be with a woman.. but that is just my opinion.

Nothing wrong with being gay! but I find it nasty!