Is it normal that i hate my girlfriend's kid?

The child isn't the problem, because he's at an age where he needs to bond with his parents and can't communicate his needs very well other than crying and making noises. So of course getting along with the 13yo is easier, she can talk and isn't needy like a young child would be, she's almost an adult.

Anyway, the real issue here is you. That this child isn't yours, the connection isn't there, so you can't empathize with the emotional needs this baby requires. At least with the 13 year old, in just 5 years, she'll be out the house; she doesn't need much except money and privacy. However, with the toddler, you have to basically raise another man's baby, which isn't sitting well with you.

Ask yourself, are you ready to be a father? Because you're not just dating the mom; especially when she has a baby, you're becoming a parent. Whether you want this or not, you're going to be this child's father figure throughout the years since he sees his mother the most; and if you think he's bad now for just doing typical baby nonsense, then it's going to get worse the older he gets and realize that you only see him as a burden, or hindrance in the relationship between his mother and you (which he shouldn't be).

Firstly, decide how much this girl means to you because you haven't really mentioned her but it's a huge part of this. Is she not worth this commitment? Secondly , please just step back and realise you are talking about a three year old. Kids copy at this age so if he is manipulative he has learnt it from one of you but he is still young enough to straighten out. If you do decide to be a bigger man and stick with the huge decision you made (being with her knowing she had two children) you must talk with her before you leave. Tell her you feel like you can't discipline him (I don't mean hit or anything like that, as tbh it sounds like this child's been through enough and mostly needs love and praise) she can't ask you to help financially support (I presume,if you're living together) , to give love and attention and have to accept her "baggage" if your not allowed to discipline him aswell. You need to both compromise and reach a middle level just like a biological father would. It's all or nothing. Tell her this is really hurting you and you feel undermined and that he won't respect or listen to you if she undermines you. Tell her you are thinking of leaving because you can't see how it's going to work and that you feel you haven't bonded with him. Lastly. Even if you do get the respect you deserve, because it is extremely hard being a step dad. It is always going to be hard in some way even with you own children. It's not very kind that you are deciding this now after entering these children's life and being there so long but it's better for everyone you leaving if you feel you can't be bothered to put the effort in with this child, if you stay I would suggest doing something one on one with the child to bond, wether it be the park or playing with play dough, painting and getting messy. Just once a week so you can build a bond with him. Just try to remember, he only knows what he's seen in his short little life. He's not naughty he's just pushing boundaries and it sounds like the mother (maybe she's trying to overcompensate for his past) needs to step up on discipline and step up on thinking she can get all the support you give her without giving you the respect and rights that come with it, she can't just pick and choose what suits her about you being there, it's either 100% parenting or nothing because problems like this will occur. Last note, all children should come first, I don't mean, win arguments and that kinda thing but their safety and happiness, that's just dealing with kids, parent, step parent, grandparents,everyone

You should reconsider! If that was your 3 year old of course you would always take your child's side. It's part of being a parent. You sound like your taking this less serious, you've already been there for the child and now you want to rip yourself away imagine what kind of negative damage you setting up for that family's future. I feel like you should stay. Bond with the kid. For fucks sake

If it's a problem, then leave and find someone without kids.

A 3 year old talks all the time. Get used to it. Put your comp. or TV on cartoons. And talk to him.

If you want to stay with her the kids are your responsibility too. Yes they are rough to deal with but if the lady is worth it then you'll do whatever it takes to stay with her and male a beautiful family work

Yes its normal sounds like they are a pain in your butt. Get another girlfriend without kids.

I swear if the ages weren't different I would know this girl.

First what were you thinking getting involved with a woman with two kids if you weren't going to have the patience or responsibility to help raise them. It's not as if she was going to wake up one day and say "Hey, I can just put him in an orphanage." And of course she is going to side with her child. Damn any woman who chooses a man over her three year old.

I don't know what you were doing for discipline, so I can't comment on that. But three year olds are hard to deal with. I just don't think you are going to make any headway ignoring him.

Children need attention and crave structure. When is the last time you played with him? He is probably used to sitting alone in a room with his babysitter the TV while every adult is on their phones.

Also children don't disappear at 18. There kinda a whole life thing.

If your already thinking about leaving her there is nothing more to say.Just leave move on with your life and enjoy it.

Find somebody without kids. It's not your kid, not your responsibility. It's her job to discipline and deal with the kid. You can help out, but you're not dad and its not fair for her to expect you to play daddy to a kid that isn't yours. Says something that she has all these kids with different guys. Watch out, she's apparently bad at not getting pregnant.

Why are u with a girl who has had 2 kids with 2 different guys and isnt with either of them? Sounds like a red flag to me.