Is it normal that i hate my family
It has been something I have had on my mind for awhile and I really wonder if I am wrong in feeling this way.
To make it simple I am not really fond of anyone from my mothers or fathers sides of the family.
On one hand my mothers side my mother included are very hateful people who have one way or another made my life miserable.
My mother only ever saw me as a pay check and as a way to hurt my father abused me for a better part of my childhood isn't someone I would call loving.
Her mother was even worse she hated my father before I was even born and hated me before I came out the womb.
For a long time I use to think that maybe my mother was weak willed but she turned out to be just as evil.
As for my father I will say this he is a decent man who I respect in ways that I cant begin to explain.
He took me in when my mother didn't want me any more he helped me through some dark times and has helped me become the man I am today.
I will be forever grateful to him for what he has helped me through.
But I feel that he is holding me back what I mean is that he is a kind trusting individual and that's the problem.
His kindness has caused nothing but problems some of them life threatening its like he doesn't seem to understand that you cant trust anyone.
Even though he is nice his mother hates me because she's mad at my mom for hurting him.
Don't get me started on uncles aunts and cousins they are all horrible and selfish and it wasn't something I figured out until eighteen.
On my mothers side a majority of family members are in gangs or in prostitution most are in and out of jail.
My mothers father was a drug lord/pimp and I didn't know that until twelve five years after he died and he was one of the few on my mothers side that was kind to me.
My fathers side is more selfish in the worse way they are model people most are and have serviced in the military my fathers father was very high in rank before he retired.
Most of them don't cause trouble but they are parasites.
My father did all he could do to help each and everyone of them in any way that he could he didn't ask for pay he did it because as he told me its family and family should help each other.
I use to believe that I thought that they were honest people.
But when my father really needed help they showed their true colors we almost died because of them and are still facing problems over it.
We are homeless we are going to have to leave state and all the plans I had set were ruined and the worse part I use to think they were the good ones.
My father says that his eyes are open but I doubt that he is still to damn nice his brother and sister are now sorry yet they still don't want to help.
I am twenty four now and I am stuck with my fathers problems I thought I would have been out on my own now but I cant because his problems will follow me.
For all the progress my dad has helped me though where has it got me.
Sometimes I wish that I wasn't born to two families that have done nothing but cause discord in my life.
My sister(who still lives with my mother) has a child now and it makes it makes me even more mad while I sit around doing nothing people are living their lives.
Its getting to a boiling point.
when we leave state I am just going my own way because anything is better then what I am doing now.
But I have no job I have no direct I cant do what I wanted to do before so I have no direction and its all my families fault.
I not planning on tell anyone in my family this I just want to wipe the slate clean.
I will feel guilt over not saying anything to my father but I cant take it any more.
Has anyone had similar problems and what should one do when faced with such problems.