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I hate drinking, I hate parties, I hate jokes and I hate pretty much everything that ordinary people would define as having fun. When I feel like having "fun" I always get panic attacks so I prefer to be mildly depressed constantly. Is this normal?
i would suggest talking about it to a counselor. Do you want to change and enjoy life like everyone else with out panic attacks? Or would you prefer to live like this your entire life? It definitely won't go away on its own, and mostly this feeling will just become stringer with time. Would you be okay with that? The fact that you are writing about makes it seem like you have some doubts about whether this is good for you. Are you around people a lot? For me, sometimes in the summer when I am home, I get panic attacks after being with people and having fun and then going to being completely alone. I don't know if this is at all how you feel, but simply incorporating a support group which can be coordinated by a therapist can help?
What was the last thing you did that you enjoyed? Would you class that as fun? And did you hate it?
I'm fully aware of the fact that its so easy to stay in a depressed state. It takes effort to get yourself out of it. Your just not willing to try I guess. I'm not trying to be a jerk, I just know these things. Mind over matter, my friend
That doesn't mean you hate having fun. We all have our own definition of fun. I dislike parties, sloppy drinking, and loud noises as well. You're not alone on that. But that doesn't mean you're depressed or that you don't ever have any "fun".
Fun now-a-days is get stupid wasted and make a fool out of yourself. It's disgusting.