Is it normal that i hate being normal?

85% Normal
22 Comments

I see questions on this website about if it is normal to be anti-social or shy (two of my biggest traits) and the vote always says 95% normal. I know that I and many people want to fit in most of the time but I honestly think people just say they are anti-social, etc. just to get attention.
Out going, talkative people I know talk about how they are really shy but then they go and automatically introduce themselves to 20 other people a few minutes later.
Am I the only one who feels a bit offended when this happens? I feel that most (for lack of a better word) 'popular' people treat shy behaviour as a joke. Not that I want to be respected or anything. Just that when you have a realization about what you are, you don't want everyone else to say that they understand and feel the same way when they are clearly do not. I just want to be recognized as different in this one way without everyone else jumping on the band wagon.

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 73 votes (62 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • Dozis
    12 years ago

    I have an easy solution for you: start doing an immense amount of drugs and getting drunk till you just pass out. That will surely make you less normal, if not completely fucked up.

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    • hemper
      12 years ago

      nah that just makes you REALLY feel how abnormal you are and if he's like that w/o drugs he might get panic attacks easily from them, never a good idea, granted i've never had a panic attack so i can only sympathize but not empathize, heard its a bitch tho (but i guess that doesn't even begin to cover it)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Actually, for people that I know it is very normal, but arn't able to admit that they do drugs because they want to be more socially accepted.
      For me, it's just that I don't want to be around people in the first place.

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  • disthing
    12 years ago

    This is currently 89% normal. You must hate that.

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  • dom180
    12 years ago

    I used to hate being normal, and went out of my way to be different. I closed myself off from other people, pretended to be someone I wasn't.

    When I started to accept who I was, my life became instantly happier. Not only that, I realised that I didn't need to try to be abnormal to avoid normality. I realised that everyone is abnormal and that abnormality is a virtue. Chasing abnormality is as much a distortion of who you really are as chasing normality or popularity, and neither make you a happier person.

    Rant over, I also hate when people empathise with something they cannot. You can see when someone gives advice to a shy person in the form of "try and meet new people", "get out more", "start talking to more people" etc. that they don't understand. Those things don't help shy people. They've missed the point entirely.

    That said, there are different degrees and types of shyness. I class myself as very shy indeed, but I can talk to people I don't know well whilst seeming confident and controlled. But inside I feel very nervous and awkward indeed. Maybe those people understand you more than you think they do.

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    • taciturn
      12 years ago

      Yep. It's a bizarre war between the normal and the abnormal, but you've only really won when you realize you don't give a shit. I can't deny that I like being validated by others - I am human, after all. But to be obsessed with attaining OR rejecting normality is to kind of miss the point of life entirely.

      I agree with your last point also - I'm a taciturn man in a friendly man's body. People seem to like me for some reason. I have plenty of 'friends'. But I'm still incredibly lonely and I can hardly say I've related to anyone on a deeply personal level. Does that make me shy, or outgoing?

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      • hemper
        12 years ago

        omg im starting to like what you write more and more, its like you've taken my thoughts and you write them out with better grammar and diction than I can manage. xD not only that you seem to have experienced more than I have lol. INTERNET CRUSH!!!! ha jks

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        • taciturn
          12 years ago

          Haha, well I appreciate that. My words come out flowery and bizarre at times, but I'm really just trying to express what I believe.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        12 years ago

        I would say that makes you outgoing. Or popular.
        I am a shy, anti-social person who can connect to people that I know and trust very much, but I only have a few friends and find it hard to talk to someone that is not one of those people.

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        • taciturn
          12 years ago

          Trust that I'm not outgoing - I make very few efforts to make friends, they just tend to come across me and I'll be warm if they do. My only point was that there is more to the dichotomy between shy and outgoing. For example, you think I'm outgoing, but I relate to a lot of what you've said - I put "friends" in quotations for a reason. These friends enjoy my company but have no idea who I am. BECAUSE they have no idea who I am. But it's incredibly rare that I find someone I can relate to, or someone that intrigues me.

          I do agree that the word "shy" is used as a derogatory term, as if it's some terrible affliction or mental illness that needs to be cured. Shyness is just as much or as little a defense as extroversion. Personally, the quiet ones are the most intriguing to me.

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  • Shrunk
    12 years ago

    I get that too because people always say "I know how you feel" when they really don't. They think advice like "What don't you just go out and meet new people?!" is helpful, but it's not that easy when you have a social disorder, which is different than simple shyness, it's a neurosis while being shy is a trait that people accept of themselves. They say "ooo I am so shy/nervous" and then they go do things I wouldn't dream of, and gracefully, whereas I would be a wreck, stumbling my way through a panic attack. I think it annoys me because deeply I envy them, but I feel there is no way I can ever be that charismatic and accepted no matter how i try.

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    • cookiesaregreat
      12 years ago

      I know saying this doesn't add anything, but I couldn't have said it better.

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  • jane348
    12 years ago

    Look there´s a difference between being antisocial, shy, and not giving a (sorry for the word, but I think it expresses my thoughts perfectly) sh*t. I know for a fact that many "popular" girls don´t have a single true friend to count on. I learned this at school because I was one of those not poular girls that ended up consoling those girls when their "friends" made them cry. Honestly sometimes I don´t know how those girls can exchange their dignity for having a bunch of admirers that probably won´t even remember them after they get out of school. I know I strived far from the point but I needed to say that. So, if you are rather shy or "antisocial" don´t hate it, you probably have more friends than those "popular" people will ever have.

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  • Anime7
    12 years ago

    Everyone wants to be different. I can sympathize with you.

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  • bananaface
    12 years ago

    Yeah, I understand. I hate it when people try to empathise but they clearly don't have a clue:/ But then again words are usually subjective and that person may genuinely believe that they are shy:) It's a matter of opinion I guess.

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  • toliety
    12 years ago

    Yep now u r normal again :o

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  • rin
    12 years ago

    I hate when in school they have people vote for best hair, best smile, etc. and they always have to include shyest male and female. I always found it insulting and embarrassing (if you win) because they act like it's a good thing and now everyone knows who the shy person is.

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  • TorothePekingese
    11 years ago

    Be yourself, thats what I do! Sure I am very hyperactive and make vulgar jokes but ,hey, thats what got me some awesome friends that will stick with me through thick and thin!

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  • DolphinAngel
    12 years ago

    I just am what I am!!! I am not normal that's all I know... I don't want to be normal either I am just ME! Just be yourself and give a shit on others opinions of you!!!

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  • Oorden
    12 years ago

    Uh oh! It's perfectly normal to hate being normal. In fact it is the most normal thing you could do. By hating being normal you have be come soooo normal. Now ... If you loved being normal that'd make you a freak.

    Ok ... Seriously - I get it. I don't care if I'm normal. "is it normal" isn't the same as "is this OK?" and I think most people admire their abnormal or special traits. We don't want to be entirely normal.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Everyone wants to be "different" or "special". If you try to be anything abnormal, you're just as normal as everyone else.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago

    Does anyone else find that if someone who is out-going finds out that you are anti-social, they cannot grasp that doesn't mean that you are against being social. I'm not. I would much rather be an easy, out-going person. To me, being anti-social is something I was born with and that my family has not on purposely re-enforced (the rest of my family is very much like me in that sense). It's like having an extreme fear, it is possible to get rid of, but it requires a lot of time and multiple tries. And quite frankly I am too afraid of failure and embarrassment to try anytime soon.

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