Is it normal that i get turned on when my ex is mean to me?

43% Normal
9 Comments

okay so I'm 18 and me and my ex only dated for like 3 months but we moved really fast and ended up having sex after a month. after we broke up we kept having sex (fuck buddies) and we stopped talking after a while cuz he fucked some other chick.
but a few days ago he started talking to me again and we got in a huge fight nd he started being really mean to me nd saying stuff that would usually make me cry but for some reason all I wanted to do was have sex with him like i couldn't even focus on my argument cuz i was so turned on... is that weird?

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 7 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Chris Brown would LOVE you

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    • mikafor
      11 years ago

      I can't tell if that's a joke, or you're using sarcasm to imply I'm a misogynist.

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  • mikafor
    11 years ago

    It's called the douchebag effect. If a guy treats a girl like shit, she somehow loves him. It's what makes you friendzone the nice guys that would actually make you happy.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      I disagree. While some women do have this fetish, most don't. When I've "friendzoned" guys, it because they're people I'm not romantically interested in (often because they're manipulative, but it can also be because they're not very smart, or any number of other reason that I don't want to tell them). I have never turned somebody down for being "too nice", and I'm skeptical that that's ever actually the reason. When women say "You're a nice guy, but let's just be friends", we're saying "I don't want to tell you why I don't want to be with you, because you're my friend and I don't want to crush your confidence", not "You're too nice, and I don't want to date nice people!"

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      • mikafor
        11 years ago

        It's just puzzled me how many times i've seen girls date guys who treat them like shit, but will defend their boyfriend to no end even though he doesn't treat her right. Usually is they dump the old boyfriend and try to find a "nice guy" they usually end up dating another asshole. It just seems completely crazy.

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        • VioletTrees
          11 years ago

          It's common for people in abusive relationships to defend their abusers. That's part of how abuse and manipulation work. The thing is, I have dated guys who most people would consider "nice guys" (shy, polite, nerdy, gentlemanly guys) and some of them ended up really abusive and awful in a relationship. I'm not saying they're all like that, just that you can't judge how somebody is going to treat you in a romantic context based solely on how "nice" they are. Pretending to be nice is really, really easy.

          There are loads of guys who date girls who treat them like shit, too. Dating people who are awful to you isn't a woman thing, it's a human thing. What gets to me is that girls are being taught that if a guy is nice and polite, it's mean and wrong to turn him down, no matter what we want for ourselves. I certainly got that message loud and clear as a teenager, and it got me into relationships that I didn't want to be in (some of which, as I mentioned, were actually abusive). The fact is, if you don't want to date someone, you shouldn't. Nobody should feel like they're under some moral obligation to be romantically interested in somebody just because that person acts nice or polite, but widespread complaining about the "friendzone" and how "girls don't like nice guys" sends the message that women should feel guilty for choosing who we don't want to date. It's fine, of course, to be unhappy that somebody turned you down, and it's fine to express those feelings, but don't frame it as some larger problem with women.

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          • mikafor
            11 years ago

            That is a very good point. You are right, I guess I was generalizing a bit.

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            • VioletTrees
              11 years ago

              Thanks for listening! :D

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  • snipah13
    11 years ago

    And then when they come or try to come back to the good guy. The good guy has now turned into the chucky doll. R.kelly was right when a womans fed up..tho..it goes both ways also. Its the adventure the turn on women feel towards us. They know we can hold it down if possible. I taught 1 of my chics how to hold a 38. Aim control breathing & trigga squeeze. My chic will make weed brownies for me. Hide it in them if the police stoped us. Plus were upredictable..not necessarily cheating bad boy but kinda hard to figure out. The chase. The confidence we possess. Our swag the way we talk and be direct with em. Ex."lemme hitchall wit sum game" id approach a lady tell her we need to be togetha..lukin very nice..I think we shud get to know 1 another. But u seem kinda shaky right now?-I do dis to disconnect for a minute catch her off guard. Psychologically ..then shed offer her number to me! True story. This actually works...

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