Is it normal that i get self-erotic desires to do weird things to my body?
These differ vastly, and I've had these since probably middle school. I stopped doing things with my vagina and my anus, so now it usually has to do with sticking something up my nose such as coins or earrings and hair clipping various parts of my body. One time in the middle of the night I had an Urge to paint my lips with nail polish. Another time it was to put boba balls on various parts of my body. Earlier this week I had an Urge to cover myself in stickers. The same week I had a urge to Expo marker my face. Once it was to cover my face in peanut butter or honey.
Sometimes it involves self-mutilation and scarring. My worst one to date is when I stuck myself with 8 pins (the circular kind made to attach to your shirt). I end up taking out my Urge contraptions once it hurts too much or is too uncomfortable (for example, have 7 coins in each nostril).
These feel very much like they are BDSM-related. I feel awful after doing them (both physically and spiritually). I'm going to see a therapist, but first I was wondering if anyone else ever felt this way.