Is it normal that i get pleasures from visions of my mother dying?

Let me first start by saying i hate this woman so much! 18 years of taking care of kids, living in a drug filled house hold, prostitutes and gays running in and out of our house has driven me into pure hatred for her. She is a mean, evil, nasty (i dont know what to call it) I would say Bitch but cant out of respect to dogs. If i sit here all give a full explaination of why i hate her i would be typing for days but to name a few she is a prostitue who has a different man or woman living in her house everyday-sometimes women and men at the same time. Her latest sexyal relationship was with a man, woman of 32and a girl of 18. Yes, my age. We have gotten into several altercations where i hav eseriously contemplating killing her! The first fight we ever had was days before my 16 birthday i believe where she got angry because i was trying to tell her that one of the men she had living with her would make all types of faces and gestures towards me! I really hate that hoe. We have also gotten into arguements because of her jealousy of me and my boyfriends. she has slept with several of them. the last bout i dated who was at the time 18- she felt it necessary to make him choose between the two of us and when he declined she told him he could no longer come around. If she was to die today or tomorrow i would have not a tear to shed and would probably wear a rainbow dress to her funeral. Like i said if i sat here and told all the reasons i hate this woman i'd be here the entire month....but based on most of the above is it normal that i would hate this woman whom ive been cursed with as a mother?