Is it normal that i get off on being body shamed?

Ever since my husband and I had our daughter I keep all the baby fat. I know I'm not actually fat. But I like to think people see me and are disgusted by me. I like to think as my husband is out he is actually cheating on me. We haven't had sex since given birth and she is over 3 years old. All of these thoughts make me so wet that I masturbate a lot to it.