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so, i convince myself im ready for sex, and when me and my boyfriend are together, i feel so turned on, then i realize he has a boner and i know he wants to have sex, i get scared. my whole body shakes and its not a very good feeling. am i just not ready?
A boner doesn't neccesarily mean he wants sex, it means his penis wants sex. He can't control his own erection. So don't worry about letting HIM down by refusing sex.
However, I agree that if you're nervous and don't feel good you're not ready. That feeling will pass in time and you'll know when you are ready.
it's your first time?
you may not be ready, but it will also never fully go away, you will always be nervous then ;)
try having a little drink before...not much, just to calm the nerves...
if she drinks before and already feels this nervous I fear she'll regret doing that afterwards.
now don't get me wrong.
Of course she has to be absolutely certain that she WANTS to do this.
But if they decide and she DOES feel ready, it may help quite a lot to calm down some way, because no matter if you are ready or not, on your first time, you WILL be nervous.
It's not suggesting to get "drunk" and not suggesting to do something she'll regret later.
If you can't does alcohol or prefer that substituation: Take some baldrian before. Anything that calms nervosity.
Either way, because obviously that was not possible to read in my first post: Do make certain you feel ready and it's what you want, but don't mistake being nervous as NOT being ready, either, or you'll never be.