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This variates a lot. I might have periods when i'm into sex so much and feel horny and i feel like it's a natural part of life but then suddenly i get so angry that i can't even deal when someone even mentions a 'sex' word. I feel sick. I feel so ashamed of sex even existing and being a thing. Then i'm into sex again and fine with it existing.
If you're female, my guess would be that it's a hormonal problem ie periods, oestrogen/progesterone levels etc.
If you're male, no idea.
Check with your doctor about this. It's not a healthy mental state to have.
I was raped once and i was mentally abused by my one boyfriend for quite long...
Given your history, it's hardly surprising you feel conflicted about sex and men in general.
Guys are pretty damn simple when it comes to sex, and it's mostly (but not all) about physical stuff. See sexy woman, get hard, get physical stimulation, and orgasm.
Women are (generally speaking) far more complicated, and what's going on in your head is way more important. And that includes subconscious stuff that you're not even really aware of, or which you believe you've dealt with.
Adding to the potential for confusion, many women experience noticeable changes in their general interest in sex as they go through their monthly cycle of hormonal changes.
If you happen to reach the point in your cycle when you normally feel the horniest, your life in general is going well, and you're with someone who doesn't remind you in any way of your rapist or abusive boyfriend, then the stars might have aligned in such a way that sex seems like a fun idea.
If life is being generally shitty to you, every man you meet seems to either look like one of the guys who treated you badly or says something that reminds you of them, and if you're a point in your cycle where you're simply not very interested in sex, then it's probably the last thing you're interested in.