Is it normal that i find it hard to believe when people are suicidal?

53% Normal
29 Comments

Many friends have told me they suffer from depression/cutting/suicide attempts. For some reason I find it REALLY hard to believe them, most of the time I get the impression they are doing it for attention or that they are not geniunely troubled. In most cases I dbout they are actually in danger of doing something harmful. I don't know if I am being insensitive or it's okay to be so untrusting.

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 76 votes (40 yes)
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Comments ( 29 )
  • Dad
    11 years ago | pl

    I don't fully agree with the previous 3 replies.

    A cry for help should ALWAYS be taken seriously. No matter what mood the person may seem to be in, or even if everything is seemingly going right in their life.

    In MOST (if not ALL) cases, the problem is the one hearing the call for help either do not take the threat serious enough or they disregard it all together.

    ALL calls for help on people who admit to suicidal tendencies (especially by telling you straight out!) should be taken 100% seriously.

    When people call for help, they NEED it. The worst case scenario would be if you do nothing and the other person takes their life.

    True many may say this and not mean it literally to themselves. BUT you do not know this, unless you are in their head.

    Seek immediate help for these individuals. Inform their parents and/or friends, and/or take them directly to hospital. Unless you don't mind having their blood on your hands for the rest of your life.

    Sometimes people (especially teens) DO take their own life, but USUALLY (always) after announcing it first, in one way or another.

    Help them, even if it doesn't 'seem' to be true.

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    • DefinitelyNotNormal89
      11 years ago

      You're such a dad =')

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  • FocoUS
    11 years ago

    Even if you don't believe they're suicidal it's clear they have a problem. Depression is also a pretty common disease. Maybe you don't believe that many of your friends have depression does that mean you believe none of them do?

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  • Wüstenfuchs
    11 years ago

    I accidentally voted not normal. It's totally normal, what with the huge amount of people claiming it. And self-mutilation isn't suicidal behavior, it's a coping mechanism (aka survival technique [I'm one of them]). But still, like Dad said, each and every time someone says it, jokingly or otherwise, it should be treated as 100% legit. :/

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    • yolo
      11 years ago

      I hear what your saying, my old school friend used to self harm, she was doing it as you say a coping mechanism and she did some terrible things to herself but she never intended to end her life by doing it so i agree with what you are saying.Someone very close to me was claiming to be very depressed and talking of ending it all.Would receive phone calls because they had taken an overdose but when we were at the hospital this turned out that this was not the case. Doctors found no evidence of any sleeping pills etc that this person had claimed to have taken,this happened 4 times. The 4th time this happened we still had to act and help because you cannot ignore these cries for help.Cut a long story short this person was accused of wasting peoples' time! Harsh i felt because i thought there must be a reason why this person does this and needs help. It was for attention, but was it a cry for help or purely just that, the attention? After this incident she was offered help, which she took, and this has not happened since. So was this a real cry for help?? I have battled with depression/anxiety and i know you can never ignore someone when they tell you they have suicidal thoughts.

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      • Wüstenfuchs
        11 years ago

        That's a great example. Posts like these, I think, require these personal experiences, because it really is easy just to pass it off as attention-seeking, unless it hits close to home like with your friend or a family member. Once you experience the debacle first-hand, the lines get blurry, and it's genuinely confusing and concerning... As it should be with every case. :/

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        • yolo
          11 years ago

          Thank you for that response. To pass judgement or have an opinion on these matters i truly believe you need to have lived it or it has effected your life in one way or the other.

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  • skiwagon
    11 years ago

    I've witnessed a suicide because somebody was thinking they were being frivolous and not serious, then he fired the gun. Some people's pain is too great. Very horrible memory I'll never forget it, especially whenever I see the word.

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  • prasatko
    11 years ago

    Two of my friends died as a result of their repeated suicidal attempts. Both of them had attempted suicide more times before their final attempt. Some people seriously mean it and we are not here to judge them.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Because "depression/cutting/suicide attempts" is just attention seeking.

    If a person really wanted to kill themselves there wouldn't be multiple attempts, just one.

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    • Klung
      11 years ago

      "depression/cutting/suicide attempts" is just attention seeking"

      I'm sorry but that is just ridicilous, everyday there is a period that im mad, frustrated, depressed and sad. I punch the ground, I punch the brick wall, I got nasty wounds and scars on my knuckles, I'm destroying my knuckles and I AM NOT depressed because i seek attention, I DO NOT punch walls or anything because I want attention. I can honestly say that I hate having much attention and I dislike having it, my head hurts when I get much attention, I rather be alone.

      And a friend of mine is depressed, have been cutting herself, and have a suicide attempt. and trust me she doesn't do that for attention. If it wasn't for her little brother she wouldn't been alive today. I'm sorry but what u said made me abit angry because it's not true

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Punching a wall isn't a suicide attempt or cutting, it's just dumb.

        I'm talking about people who cut and attempt suicide but never die. A person who is serious just does it, bang, dead.

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  • NoraBaker
    11 years ago

    I only have time for 2 cents in this discussion, so I'll make it short. I have contemplated suicide more than once in my life, but very distantly, just as an idea to stop some pain I was in. I would tell people about it, sometimes jokingly. Only once have I been in serious danger and closer to that border. There were circumstances that I won't get into, but what I wanted to say is: I told absolutely no one.

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  • iEatZombies_
    11 years ago

    It's the ending of their suffering that most suicidal people crave- not death. Sometimes it feels like death is the only resort left. Sometimes, life can become so horrible to someone that death seems a joke in comparison. It truly is the Devil's last temptation.
    You can -never- tell the difference between one who's considering taking their own life, one who desperately needs attention -even negative-, or one who just plain feels that upset only for a moment.

    I can promise you this; it only takes one single time to be deathly serious.

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  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago

    I ger what you're saying. Some people are serious about it, but others are just seeking for attention and for people to feel sorry for them.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      That's still a problem, though. Attention is a legitimate human need. Sometimes people try to get it in unhealthy ways, and you're not obligated to become emotionally enmeshed. There are ways to try to get people help, though, that don't involve ending up in an unhealthy situation, such as recommending a hotline, or letting people know that their problems are legitimate and they deserve help.

      Also, you can't tell if somebody is looking for attention or actually suicidal, and telling them you think they're faking is the worst thing you can do if they're actually suicidal. Yes, sometimes people come off as melodramatic, but there's no law saying suicidal people can't be melodramatic.

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    I feel the same way. It takes a lot of guts to end a life, even if it's your own.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    It is very common for suicidal people to "call for help" before they attempt suicide. You shouldn't really write them off because they're asking for attention, because someone suicidal would want attention just the same.

    Next time someone tells you that they're suicidal, this is what you do:

    Ask them if they're serious and if they already have a plan together for how they would do it. If they say yes, tell them that you aren't going to leave until they go to the hospital or they're under the care of someone else that knows that they're suicidal.

    That accomplishes two things - if they are actually suicidal, they won't be able to do it with someone else around, and if they aren't suicidal, then putting them through this ordeal will teach them not to lie about it anymore for attention.

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  • yolo
    11 years ago

    I am very familiar with depression, its a very lonely place to be. If someone is that low and they are having these awful thoughts usually it can be a cry for help but if someone really wants to do this they will not talk to anyone and will try to take drastic action. The signs with depression are they are unusually quiet, they have bad memory and NO concentration. Always tired as they try to sleep and suffer with anxiety and lay awake worrying over why they feel the way they do and cant see any way out of their situation i.e if they are having money, family, relationship, work problems. It could be anything that is having a bad effect on their lives. Terrible mood swings.Get emotional over the silly things. People do play the stressed/depression card but when you get depression for attention it makes me angry. But society now makes people not trustworthy because people will lie and cheat to get what they want and will sink very low to get it . Their are people who think depression is a sign of weakness. I have been told that by some ignorant fool. life can deal you a real shit hand of cards sometimes and you just need some help to deal and work through it and everybody needs help from time to time no matter how big or small the matter is.

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    • Ldizzy1234
      11 years ago

      This is real right here. ^ While reading this I kept thinking of myself. I've felt really crummy on and off for years. But I think these past two years, have been my lowest. I did speak with a counselor for a little while. But stopped going. I've become so comfortable in this. I'm so used to these empty feelings and loneliness these days, that I feel like I'm almost resting in it. Actually, maybe comfortable isn't the word. And neither is resting. More like wallowing in this. I don't sleep at night. And when I finally do fall asleep, I just sleep my life away unless I have work. But sometimes my sleep gets really messed up, and I just wake up an hr or two later and never fall back asleep. I have anxiety almost all the time now. My family is a mess. I dropped out of college, yet, a part of me wants to go back, but I can't bring myself to make my schedule. My motivation to do things is almost completely gone. I bitch all the time. At work, I used to be able to hide my sadness a little bit, but lately I do more complaining there than anywhere else. And this lady from another department told me that she misses my smile. I just drive around in my car listening to my radio these days. My friends think that I'm cold and refuse to get close to them or anyone else anymore. They're always asking me why I don't wanna hang out anymore, and the saddest part about it all, is that they think its them. But its not. I just feel dreadful. Its a very dark place to be. And when you're there, you know it. And I think all the people around you begin to sense it too.

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      • yolo
        11 years ago

        Hi Ldizzy! I read your post and really feel you need support. Did seeing the counselor help you in anyway? When i 1st started talking to a stranger i felt it was hard to let go and found myself sinking lower, but i kept going and was prescribed medication to help me and it did start to turn things around for me. But sometimes you really have to hit rock bottom before you can pull yourself back up,and deal with your illness or with whatever is having an effect on your life. Because there does come a point where you can not feel any lower and the only way to go from there is up.I find in these circumstances you also find out who your true friends are. Try and talk to someone,or go see your Doctor. If you feel pills are not the answer there are other ways like support groups, counselors because you are not alone. You have family and friends who love and care for you but please try to make people understand how you are feeling. You said your family is mess, try to deal with yourself 1st and you will be able to deal with life better i.e family and friends. I really hope things turn around for you. Ask yourself where do you want to be in 5 years time? Give yourself a goal it gives you something to focus on. It may not work for you but believe me it worked for me and i had loads of issues. Cut along story short i ended up in a woman's refuge.Someone asked me that question where do i want to be in 5 years time? All i wanted was to be well and happy.With a lot of help and support and it was not easy i am in a better place, physically and mentally.

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      I know that you're trying to help, but some of the things you said about depression actually aren't accurate.

      Depressed people don't always have "bad memory and NO concentration". When I was severely depressed (I have Major Depressive Disorder), I sometimes would throw myself into complicated math and physics problems, and I'd often concentrate on reading. I had a hard time motivating myself to do things that involved exercise or going out with friends, but I could concentrate on some things. They don't always have insomnia, either. I do, but sometimes people react to depression by sleeping too much, too.

      Overall, though, I agree with your point. People cry for help because they need help, not because they're just having fun.

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      • yolo
        11 years ago

        Thank you for your reply, i was pointing out possible signs of depression and your right people react different i was explaining how i felt and i went and got extra help and my doctor explained there are different forms and i should of stated that in my 1st post i was dwelling to much on my own experience . I was diagnosed with depression and Chronic fatigue syndrome ( a form of M.E). So think that is maybe why i suffered bad memory and no concentration.Also from other peoples' experience what they felt. But everyone is different. From my personal experience they were the 1st signs for me. I found it hard to get the job done my mind was all over the place because i was feeling really low and i was worrying because i felt myself withdrawing from my family, friends, everyone and everything and did not know why i always felt terribly ill. My body always felt heavy and i ached like i was coming down with a terrible illness (hindsight i was) and i was always a very outgoing person but i felt i was falling and did not know how to pull myself up again. Depression is a very nasty illness and i wish you all the best in working through your illness. There are people out there who are to quick to judge people with depression/anxiety like i always tell people it is a terrible illness and not weakness or laziness!! Some UN-EDUCATED fool once told me and i quote "people say they are depressed but i think there is no such thing just another fancy word these doctors have come up with like BI-POLAR to get out of going to work or get people to run around after them." But people DO play on these things and sadly that is the way the world is today and people are suspicious of other people. Sometimes i feel that trust is a thing of the past!!

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        • VioletTrees
          11 years ago

          Thanks for listening! I hate it when people act like the fool you talked about. I've explained that I was pulled out of school for depression in the past, and the person I was talking to said "You got pulled out of school because you were SAD?"

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          • yolo
            11 years ago

            That is sad, what people do not know or understand think they always know better and are to quick to judge. Good luck in your future.x

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      • Wüstenfuchs
        11 years ago

        I am the same way about the math problems. I will bury my head in a complicated equation and just forget about everything else while I solve it. xP

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  • NotFloydzie
    11 years ago

    Well, when you've been through it yourself you're able to difference if the person really has serious issues or it's doing it for attention.

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    • chewy
      11 years ago

      Hi :)

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  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    Well a lot of people may truly feel like they want to die, but don't actually want to be dead. They just can't think of another way out of their problems. Sometimes they feel like a burden to those around them because of their problems and feel guilty about it. Its hard to explain and hard to understand when you don't have feelings like that. A lot of it is also for attention in a sad, desperate way.

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