Is it normal that i felt this way
6 years ago I met a very sweet, caring and very loving individual who changed my life forever. The first time I met her I didn't know how to pronounce her last name ( at the time). The first thing I said to her was " I might just mispronounce your name for the rest of the school year so I am so sorry" Eventually I got the hang of pronouncing her name right. Anyhow that's the little details that doesn't matter at all. well at least about the name.
So anyhow this person I met was my school counselor. She came in my life when my life was a wreck (not saying it hasn't gotten worse over the years). Anyhow she like I said changed my life forever. She was there for me when my own parents had no time for me. She was there for me during the summer between junior high and high school when all my “friends” were not. She was there for me to call at 9PM on a weekend when I wanted to kill myself. She was there to drop me off at home so I don’t have to walk home from summer school in 90+ degrees. She would let me hang out at her office during the summers so I didn’t have to go home and be lonely. She would occasionally even call me on summer evenings so see how I was doing. I was just the same I always looked up to her and cared about her. I was treated like an “adopted daughter”. She treated me like her daughter and she was my mother to me since my mother never had the time for me. Those were the great times.
With every good comes bad. The bad is that when I was high school student she introduced me to some folks at the high school who she said would take care of me. Turns out just month or two into high school they didn’t like that my counselor and I had a very close relationship. Before I knew it I was no longer allowed to talk to my “mom”, see her or have anything to do with her. For four years I felt lonelier than ever. The four years when I really needed a mother like figure I had absolutely no one. I occasionally ran into her several times in those 4 years, but it was just like I ran into some I knew of. The connection we once shared was lost along the way I solely blame the folks at the high school for my loss. But as eventually I started getting used to it. Then came high school graduation. It was the day I never thought I would live to see. But I did and on that day when no one from my so called family came, she came because I had invited her to come. And she told me she wanted to be there for ME. That meant to me more than anything else in this world. And then I never saw her after that.
It’s been almost two years and I haven’t spoken to her seen her since. But out of the blue I decided to communicate with her and told her I would like to go see her. She said that’s fine. Now the deal is I am going to go her in couple of days here. But she thinks I am going to go see her just because I haven’t seen her in a while. In reality it’s not just that in reality I want to ask her if she can spare some time for me outside of her time at the school one day. Outside of school because I want to tell her about how she made me feel and how thankful I was and still am that she was there for me during that year and a half. Also how I would like her to be part my life again if possible. So now I am curious as to how would she possibly take this?