Is it normal that i feel unable to leave home?

62% Normal
10 Comments

I am early 20's and I live with my grandparents as I have for 10 years because my dad is absent and my mother's a drug addict. I have the desire to leave home and travel around the country and eventually live in another state, but I love my grandparents dearly and I would never forgive myself if one of them passed while I was away.
I feel like going out to live my life but I feel so much guilt thinking of leaving them after they have taken such good care of me for so long. I know they would wish me well but still. I often feel that I will not be able to start my life until they both pass away (horrible thought). I have such an anxiety to leave and "abandon" them the way I was abandoned by my parents. Is this normal?

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 45 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    That's very noble of you but it's also unhealthy.

    You should sit down and have a chat with them i am sure that they are aware of how much you care for them.

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  • Moonbow
    10 years ago

    You're only 20. As long as you're going to school or working, there's nothing wrong with living with your grandparents. Additionally, it's admirable that you consider the feelings of your grandparents and do not want to abandon them.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    10 years ago

    Why not start with small trips so you can get used to it? I'm sure your grandparents would love to hear of your adventures. Perhaps they would even like to travel too, if they're able?

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  • wtgeneralf
    9 years ago

    It's normal to feel anxious about leaving safety and comfort to try new things. I'm sure your grandparents want you to enjoy being young like they did before you!

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  • flowergirl87
    10 years ago

    I can totally see where you're coming from. Thing is, you're in your twenties now and it's time to think about you as well. How about moving but not too far from your grandparents for a bit and see how it goes? That's if you can afford to. You could visit frequently. It's also understandable that you're worried about 'abandoning' them as you know how this feels. But you wouldn't be abandoning them, you'd be moving on with your life and I'm sure they'd be happy for you. Have you spoken to them about it at all?

    P.s. Different situation to you, but when I moved out I felt a bit guilty about leaving my mum on her own. It was just her and I before, you see. And the first night in my new home I cried!

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  • agentchaos
    10 years ago

    theres nothing wrong for wanting to stay with them, it might even be a good idea to take care of them as they get older but they probably want you to live you own life and be happy by yourself. if you do you can still keep a close relationship with them

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  • Shackleford96
    10 years ago

    I don't think you should feel bad about that. They would understand that you have to live your life. They obviously love you.

    It's not like you are abandoning them anyway. Stay in touch, silly!

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  • Thatchick2604
    9 years ago

    Don't let them hold you back... Jus send them to a elderly home and always visit them whenever you can because if your gonna send them away make time for them .. But still live you life

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 years ago

    Thank you all for your kind words. I think I should test the waters with moving out within the next year (hopefully)
    c:

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Slow down there grandpa.

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