Is it normal that i feel this way?

Ohk, so here goes. I've suffered alot being the youngest child, At least I think so. I have to bear in mind that no matter how big I will become one day I am still the baby of the family and won't get any amount of respect close to my eldest sister. I joined a hostel in my 3rd year of higher secondary school and people abused me to the point where I now longer felt the necessity to live my life .Especially one person (I won't mention whom), because of that person I gained a bad reputation as a boy-lover and many of the once 'shy' boys became opportunists as a result the school principal (God bless him) decided to 'kicked me out' of the school. After getting kicked out I joined another school (my family didn't really know the real reason behind this but thought the school was bad anyways and took me out of the school). I suffered from complex PTSd for about a year and a half (It was a really dark time for me) and I'm currently recovering (Thank God). I also would like to say that because of this I failed my final year and have to repeat, but the school administration was too embarrassed to keep me in their school any longer so I had to leave and become a private candidate somewhere else. This kinda put a strain on my relationship with my mother, because during the time I had PTSd I was awfully hyper-vigilant and took the smallest words as a threat and I couldn't think clearly. I got angry often and jumped to conclusions...I hated my mother for sacrificing so much for me and living her entire life just for me (even though she denies it, her actions says a lot of things) I knew so darn well that can do nothing to repay my mother or father or my siblings and I feel so in-dept. I sometimes got into fist fights with my eldest sister who is 8 years my senior. My father sometimes when the situation was out of hand had to use force. My family realized there was something off about my behaviour and took me to the psychiatrist. After I started to recover from PTSd I started to realize how much I've missed out and began loving and respecting my family a bit more, after all they were the ones in the end to take me to the doctor get me diagnosed and bought me meds and the ones to listen to my story and so on. I think straight now but I do feel depressed some days. Sometimes or most of the days I fight with my mom who happens to have left our place in another country to come join me over here (not telling where) to take care of me and watch over my studies. My elder sister cried alot about this (23yrs old)...I felt terrible for taking her mother away from her even though she is my mother too and I really can't decide or say who needed her the most at this point (my sister graduated recently and is trying to get a job) At the same time I felt like she was old enough to understand my situation and yet was doing this on purpose to make me feel guilty about all this. Alot of people are understandably angry at me for many reasons (i) I was a jerk, (ii) I failed my final year, (iii) I need alot of attention and time and the list can go on. My eldest sister openly said that I was probably the only one that my parents had to spend alot on. I feel stupid sometimes despite the fact that the psychiatrist measured my IQ to be a genius level of 135 or something. I am terribly slow and I can't process things as well as other people even though I love Calculus and Physics I know this stuff simply doesn't make me feel smart. I just want to succeed in life like everyone else and I just want to believe it, alot of things about me is making it hard for me to believe that I might become a big-shot some day. I know the whole post sends mixed messages but I just really wanted to tell someone how I felt about all this...I just got to the minute details. If I wanted to go on I would rather go face to face, then again I'm not that brave. Anyways, I'm glad I got a chance to vent about it.