Is it normal that i feel that kids just ruin marriages/relationships?

79% Normal
10 Comments

I do not want children, and part of the reason for that is what they appear to do to your marriage/relationship. A lot of couples with kids don't seem nearly as close as those without because the kids have eaten up all their time and they no longer have any time for each other. Research even shows that marital satisfaction declines sharply after the first kid is born. I really don't get why so many people choose that life. If I loved someone enough to marry them, I would never want to have to put our relationship last.

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 39 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    I raised my oldest sailing around the world. She didn't affect our relationship negatively at all, because we refused to give up our lives and dreams just because we had a kid. She missed all that mean crap that children do to one another and turned out to be one of the nicest people you'd ever want to know.
    Since schooling wasn't an option as we traveled, at 12 she went to a Swiss boarding school and got the equivalent to 12 years of US education in three years, plus several languages. I made her do high school in the US as I felt that was important for her as an American.
    I think the error most parents make is to 'sacrifice' everything for their children and then they resent them. Parents have their lives to live as do children and it is an sad thing to see either one live their life for the other.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    8 years ago

    I kind of agree with you because over the years I've seen marriages that seemed lovey dovey fall apart once they decided to have kids. However I kind of disagree, since I've seen other people who were actually able to handle all the stress of it and are still together and still very happy. The way I see it, some people can handle the task of raising a family, and some can't. I admire the people that can and I hope that one day I can do the same.

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    • snarkygirl
      8 years ago

      A lot of the time they do cause extreme stress yes! I think it's much better if people think carefully whether they really want kids before getting pregnant or doing it just because everyone else does. Even people who planned kids can find it overwhelming.

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  • Para-noir
    8 years ago

    Research shows? Back that up with links please.

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    Yup. That and the fact I just don't like children is why I would never have them.

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  • Mario24
    8 years ago

    Well I agree with Cuntsiclestick and I would like to answer your question by telling that people have kids because of primitive desire of keeping their bloodline safe.

    Many relationships get a stronger emotional bonding after having a kid as they team up for looking after the kid and support each other with their responsibilities.

    Although you should make a decision according to your own preferences, but I would suggest you to think about positive aspects and have more confidence towards yourself and your partner.

    With or without a kid, I wish you a very happy life ahead.

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  • Melora
    8 years ago

    Never have a child if you are not 100% sure that you want it and that you can support it. So being hesitant or even reluctant to have children is very healthy.

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  • qualityaristocrat
    8 years ago

    No, a lack of commitment and degenerate hedonism are what kill relationships. Producing children is a responsibility of the citizenry of a nation.

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    • Arm0se
      8 years ago

      Okay, Big Brother.

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      • snarkygirl
        8 years ago

        You've got to play along :)

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