Is it normal that i feel saddened by my surroundings?

I am affected by the aesthetics of my environment. And that is a big problem, because I see ugliness everywhere. I see ugliness where others see beauty, and I wish I could see the beauty as well.

Now, let me make clear that I'm not talking about the aesthetics of people. Some people think, for example, that when I say, "X is an ugly city," I mean, "The people in X are ugly." In reality, I'm referring to the buildings, the lawns, the parks, the trees, the streets, the houses, the styles of architecture, the sidewalks and everything that constitutes the physicality of the city itself (not the inhabitants).

This has been a problem of mine for a long time, though I have only recognized it recently. Looking back, I realize that even when I was a kid it struck me as odd when someone made a big deal about certain "awesome" places.

I grew up in a small town, and "the big city" was a huge deal in my family. I had never been to one, and my relatives were always talking about one particular city they often visited and how amazing it was.

One day, they finally took me there. "Isn't it amazing?! Look how great it is," they kept saying during the entire trip. "You're not looking!" I was looking, but I couldn't share their enthusiasm. All I could think was, "It's big."

It was big indeed. It was a typical major city, with tall buildings, large streets, noise pollution and tons, just tons of things to do! It was surely intimidating for a first-timer. It just wasn't beautiful.

That was the first time my dreams of a promised land were shattered. The moment when I realized, "Oh. This is not actually much better than where I was before. There is no paradise city."

And, as a visited more and more places throughout my life, the disappointment followed me every time.

You see, the big cities, the small towns and the country were nothing like what I saw in the movies. Every place was a watered-down version of what I was promised - by the movies AND the people, the latter being the main contributor to my confusion. It made me realize that other people can see the beauty, but I can't.

Most people seem to appreciate things that I don't, and even care about things that I don't. When debating how good a place is, they will take into account things like food, friendliness of the people, music scene, weather, things to do, shopping, transportation methods and many other things. And if those things meet their standards, then it is a good place.

Maybe superficially, I care more than anything (and I do mean more than anything) about the appearance of a place. How clean it is, the condition of the streets and sidewalks, how good and purposeful the architecture is (nothing makes me rage more than mass-produced, meaningless architecture), quality of planning and design, how beautiful the natural setting is (even the "wrong" type of tree can make me annoyed), et cetera.

While other tourists are usually excited about a certain place they're visiting, most of my thoughts go like this: "Ugh, look at those ugly-ass buildings. WHO thought it was a good idea to build those? Well, now that is a nice part of town. I like this park, it's beautiful! But Jesus! WHAT is the spacing between those buildings across the street? Why is that street so unappealing, by the way? The view kinda ruins the experience of being in this park. Quick! Face the other way!"

And the funny thing is, my obsession with aesthetics doesn't target people at all. Or cars, or... silverware, or anything else. Just places. And when places are ugly, I feel really, really bad. Sometimes I even feel like life is not worth living if I have to see the ugliness around me.

This may very well sound stupid, but it's how I feel and I don't know what to make of it. Is it normal? Does anyone share that experience? Let me hear your thoughts.