Is it normal that i feel really "disconnected" from my body?

58% Normal
9 Comments

Let me try to explain this in the bext way that I can - I do not relate to the person I see in the mirror looking back at me. I don't relate to her at all. In fact, I hate her, because she's everything I don't want to be.

When I think of myself in hypothetical situations and while daydreaming and all, I think of me as a better, perfect version of me - with a nice smile, thinner, bigger boobs, more confident, sexier, etc etc. But then I look in the mirror and I'm the extreme opposite: I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm really fucking disgusting and it honestly makes me sick to see myself every day.

This has caused me to hold back a lot, because the person I wish I could be is not the person I truly am. I have tried to change my physical self in order to match my psychological self but I've failed at it.

I don't know what to do. This "small issue" has caused a lot of mess and a lot of problems in my life. Is it normal?

Voting Results
58% Normal
Based on 45 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • NotFloydzie
    11 years ago

    You are what you think you are.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    I should probably tell you that you show have some more confidence and that you probably have a lot of qualities etc but no! There are people who don't even have time to look in a mirror or care if they look right or not because they have to work night and day to feed some little mouth. SO PLEASE SHUT UP

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      I understand your frustration, but that's one of the most destructive things you could possibly have said. Shaming people for having psychological problems like body dysmorphia is extremely counterproductive, as is shaming people for speaking up about them.

      I can't speak for the OP, but as somebody who's struggled with bulimia, depression, and body dysmorphia, I can say that my condition has been worsened by the guilt I feel for being obsessed with something that seems, on its surface, very shallow. The feeling that my unhappiness and self destruction were selfish and ungrateful, given that I'm very privileged in many ways, kept me from telling anybody for nearly ten years. That shame could have killed me. It very nearly did.

      The OP has serious body image issues. She's not intruding in a forum specifically for people struggling with poverty. She's reaching out for help on a website specifically made for sharing personal difficulties, and you just slapped her hand away.

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      • kelili
        11 years ago

        I've made a mistake. Excuse OP. I have been obsessed with my weight when I was fifteen - thought I was overweight when in fact my BMI was under normal. And just to clear some points because I don't want to attract unmerited pity on this site I'm not struggling against poverty but there are people here that are families and friends that are really needy and one one of my bad days when I come here and I see your "problems" I just get rrrrrrr. The above comment was on one of my bad day. Excuses OP

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    You're not alone. If you need to talk, feel free to email me: [email protected]

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  • CheyChey
    11 years ago

    Try this.. Play your favourite album then look in the mirror by the time the album finishes you'll have stood long enough to catch your reflection and really see not just a quick look. My philosophy in life is change what you don't like you say you've tried before try again why not. It's not worth it living your life sad because of something as silly as body image but the thing is it's not silly it's a massive thing.

    This change you have to make sure you're doing it for you otherwise what's the point. You can only daydream for so long, I sense that this issue holds you back & I get you because I suffer from body dysmorphia unlike you my perception of what I look like is completely distorted & I have to rely on other people's perception of me.

    Make the changes you feel you need to make to result in a happier you life is too short to be unhappy with things that can potentially be changed, don't be discouraged if you fall off the proverbial wagon set backs so what there are there to challenge you, most importantly don't lose yourself in all these that's the worst thing that could happen. Goodluck!

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    I think it's sad that this controls your life. I wish I could help you, but I can't. I hope someone can, whether it be here or anywhere else.

    Your physical self is not important. Fuck your physical self. It's nothing, just a thing your mind is forced to drag around with you. No matter what it looks like, how your body looks is NOT important. What goes on in your head is who you are, not your body. I guarantee you don't look as bad as you think you do, and even if you looked better you would NOT be happier. Good looks don't make happy people. Happiness is a place you find inside your head, not in your body.

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    • Thewomanizer
      11 years ago

      that's true, i would say though that happiness is found within rather than in the head as the mind is a crazy thing.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    I've felt like that on occasion like i was watching myself from a distance i was here but really not.

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