Is it normal that i feel "lost" because my wife cheated on me?

Oh for fuck sake. I refreshed the page and clicked on cheat on her instead by accident. That one on cheat on her, just ignore, that was me by mistake.

This is a tricky situation. Do you work? If you do, leave her and take your kids with you. She obviously doesn't care enough about the family to keep her legs from being spread, and so shouldn't be the one looking after the family.

If you don't work, depending on if you want to be with your kids still, leave.

You need to do something other than forgive her. You should not of had to deal with this at all. If she done this to you in the first place when she knew you were going through depression, then she's scum, not deserving a second chance. She doesn't deserve you.

You are not at fault here, she is. I seen your reply to the other user, and it pains me to see that "you" felt like "you" had to try sort it out because of "her" abuse. When "you" believe it is your responsibility to please her when she is being abusive to you, that's when it becomes domestic violence, which is what this is.

Try get your kids and not be alone, or try live with family for a while, or perhaps try find a woman that you deserve, not the garbage you are with now.

If you both were committed to each other you could work around her cheating. But “yelling at you” and “putting you down” is either manipulation or cruel.
She’s trouble. She doesn’t care about you. Lose her now.

In all honesty you will find it hard to ever trust her again, even with forgiving her for this. And its almost a statistical probability that if she did it once she will either do it again or be very tempted into doing it again, and without even going into your feelings about it, imagine the example that would set for your kids. Kids are very perceptive and learn very quickly, if you have a daughter that witnesses this behavior she could very well grow up thinking there is little to nothing wrong with it.

Its also not your fault that she gets upset and yells at you for silly household chores, she is probably not happy herself, not because of you though, she probably doesnt want to be happy and it scares her. Some people go through their entire lives just being angry because its easier for them. Your real concern now is the kids, not this woman with insecurity issues, that takes it out on you.

I read your decision about leaving, I think as hard as it is. Its the best decision you can make.

my wife cheated on me a few times, at first I ignored it, then things werent going so well and I divorced her. It was the best thing I could have done. My life is so much better, and I am so much happier. I have a girlfriend who thinks the sun shines out of my arse. As for my son, kids adapt quickly, he lives with me.

You need to stand up for yourself really..you should have all along maybe you would have seen that this woman is evil or really really really really dumb..I have a friend who does this to her husband and..there was a part o fme that really wanter her to get caught and him dump her ass..how could anyone be so cocky because their partners let them! ugh Yell back! you'd be surprised how good that feels then she'll be turned on and love you again and you'll delete this post

I'll tell you what I think. If you're not happy, change it. That's my motto in life. You're miserable buddy! And if you leave, you might still be miserable, but that's a chance you have to take, because you know where you're at now is going nowhere. You don't know for sure if you leave, that it will be worse. What does that say? Take a chance! It's so hard to change everything you know in life, but after she cheated on you, it just can't be fixed. By cheating on you, and verbally abusing you, she broke your wedding vows. Your marriage is already void. I'm sorry if that's hard to hear, but right now, as much as the kids may be impacted, you need to think about you. You only live once, and your wasting time on something you already know is done. Good luck, okay? I hate to hear people going through crap, there's more out there :)

Yeah its called arrogance.

You know your limit.
and sometimes enough is just enough.
Life will go on, this isn't the end I could bet you.

Thank you for you comment. I do work, and what you say makes sense, but I couldn't take the kids from her. When I met her that's all she really wanted out of life - was to be a mom. I've also had the feeling that she may have married me because I was willing to be with her and give her children. I think what you said about finding another woman would probably be best. Since I posted this I've talked to her and I've told her I'll be leaving at the end of September.

The question probably is how things changed. Last halloween is a long way back.

Does she treat you differently?
Did you work this out or just let grass grow over it?
Is she willing to change?
Are you willing to forgive?

Let me put it that way: Most people do stupid things and make mistakes sooner or later in their live.
Its a remarkable things to accept this and forgive even grand mistakes...BUT:
It's only a good thing if the person LEARNED from their mistakes...otherwise it's a stupid thing to forgive them.

If nothing changed and she's still putting you down, and has that bad temper, and things between you are the same way they were last year in summer...leave.
If that event caused change, decide wether you can work with that and base your decision on that.

Revenge is never a good option, and IF you two separate, will greatly hurt you during the divorce, or if you intend to fight for the kids.

Either live with it(if she is unlikely to make the mistake again courtesy of having changed), or leave her(if you finding out merely caused a short disturbance of her routine...).

Fuck her dude. What a bitch, kick her to the curb.