Is it normal that i feel like people walk over me?

i'm 21,i work in a fast food place,going to school (highschool) in the evenings.i dropped out cause of bullying,so i'm catching up
:)
i live in latvia,which is a rather homophobic country...there are no parades,and there are no anti-discrimination laws or any other gay-teen-help related services here.
sooo...
i have no friends,since i'm poor,gay and kinda eccentric(people tell me i' weird all the time),and never really had a boyfriend-trust me,it's a combo that guarantees u'll be a loner for life.noone wants to be around m.e
the problem(as it seems ) is that i feel like people at work(especially guys) smile to my face,send out misinterpretable messages,but talk shit behind my back(sometimes i can hear what they say)
they would say ike ''oh,he's a fag'',or some other type of ''loser'' remark....
well,i don't care so much about 99.9% of guys talking about me there,as i care for this ONE guy.
i like him.
if he was gay i would like him in a romantic(read:get horny)way.he is really really cute.like he has a super hot bod-works out all the time and so on...-and a ,what i call,''goofy'' face.
so we kinda hung out together and kinda he was flirty with me when noone's around.but i see that he is just teasing and likes attention.that's fine,i get it,i don't mind,but...
he would promise me smt,and never keeps his promise,but the worst part is...
i said like,in a conversation,''bla bla bla,cause,u know,we are friends,bla bla bla''
he''well,if u say so''
i won't go into details,but he always tries to take advantage of me in some way-emotional,or playing like he likes me to do smt for him
it has happened before,so i take good care not to be used again.so smt happened,i saw he was trying o pull of the same shit that happened to me before,so i got mad and now treat him poorly.i said i couldn't work for him when he wanted to switch,and then revealed that i could and that i didn't want to...
i feel bad about it,cause i have this thing with guys like HIM:he just looks at me with his funny-cute-goofy eyes and i melt completely,i feel like a frikkn bitch for hurting him and being nasty,though i know he will never be considerate of my feelings,and my self esteem drops,i feel like i give people my best-careing,consderation and empathy,-but get a spit in the face in return.
it has happened before.it happens only with the guys i really like,not all people,but others are as much jerks to me all the time as they are,i just don't care really...
i know i can be mean and tough buti feel bad for hurting them in any way.i feel like begging them for forgiveness.do i have a problem?did you have an exp like this?
IS it normal???