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ok so whenever i ask my freinds if they want to hang out or something, i feel like im being a bother to them. i aslo feel like they dont like me and dont want to be freinds. they always tell me that they dont hate me but i always feel like they do in the back of my mind. Is this normal?
You should never believe what people say, unless they back it up with their actions.
Yes it's normal, but you should have a little more confidence. If you keep asking your friends if they hate you, they may just start.
I have often felt this way through my life with people and now in my forties, I realise that it came from my parents responses to me. They treated me like a nuisance who was costing them money and time and so life was miserable for them because of me! I have wasted my life trying to make up for it by not being a nuisance to people- tried (and failed!) with them too when they were alive.
Of course, sometimes people think you are a nuisance, sometimes they don't. How much is your own projection, perhaps due to how you've been treated before from parents, family or a trusted friend?
Tisgranum is right: feeling like a nuisance affects your actions and then people don't want to be your friend. My parents bullied me so no surprise that I was a bullied kid! Your actions affect others- though it's not always the case. Nobody will be liked by everyone, no matter what we do!
maybe you should look at the situation in favor of yourself: Are these people's friendships to you that unnerving that you aren't sure of yourself? Maybe its time you look for a new crowd to be with.
Telling people to have self confidence won't help. Telling them how to have self confidence will. Unfortunately I don't know how, if I did I would have self confidence.
Just ask them. Say something like "Do I annoy you?" or "Do I get on your nerves?" Be serious but don't cause any drama or they might thhink you don't trust them, and trust is what holds any types of relationship together.
Trust your gut, it's 100% of the time effective. I guarantee you that your "friends" are lying to your face. I've been in this situation before, and trust me, it's much easier to believe what they're saying, but they're just telling you what you want to hear b/c they're afraid of hurting your feelings. One way or another, you'll find out the truth. Ditch those a-holes and find new friends.
I have had that feeling too!! But then I started founding new friends, now I don't have that feeling anymore ;). so that's my advice start finding some new friends it helps:)
Just that attitude of not belonging can make you not belong sometimes. Try to make yourself feel as you belong and it may just happen.
i agree, im always like this as well, but not with my friends. People im awkward with arent really considered my friends, just people i sometimes hang out with.
I agree with 'likesototallyomg'. Actions speak louder than words. I mean if you feel this insecure with your friends then maybe you should start looking for people that make you feel good about yourself and have a good time with. Friends are supposed to make you feel free to be yourself and if that's not the case with these people then they're not right for you. Simple as that.