Is it normal that i feel guilty for how i treated my deceased sister?

88% Normal
4 Comments

When I was 14 I lost my older sister to malaria. My sister had the wrong "friends" in high school, they pressured her to do bad things which left her with depression and schizophrenia. Due to her illness it made her say silly things, she was depressed and incapable of handling a job even though she managed to get a bachelor and other things, this disappointed my dad a lot. He used to be verbally harsh on her, which my attitude towards her followed (I feel like I treated her below "normal" people's standards) but in hindsight I look upon her as pure.

After her death I realised how much she actually meant to me. A day before her funeral a pastor gave me advice to say sorry to her for anything I have done and if she needed to be sorry for anything, that i accept it. His advice really helped with my grief it was as if I was relieved; but a few years later I still feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt till this day. At times the guilt even makes me have suicidal thoughts, like I shouldn't even be alive for my neglect for her.
Is this normal in grieving?

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 42 votes (37 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • TVDFan(
    12 years ago

    It's normal but you need to see a therapist to talk to someone. It shouldn't be lasting this long and be strong enough to make you suicidal. I don't want you to harm yourself, see someone professional about it. For your own sake.

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  • stratman
    12 years ago

    Grieving is hard. Best advice is to deal with it and move on from your guilt. Shed want you happy even if you were mean. Sucks but true

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  • TVDFan(
    12 years ago

    Oh and your sister wouldn't want you to feel this way she'd probably want you to be happy.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    It's normal but not healthy coz you know your sister wouldn't hold a grudge against any childish mistakes you made. I'm sure she forgot about it a long time ago. Don't beat yourself up over this, just learn to be more tolerant of others in the future. This was just one of life's lessons.

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