Is it normal that i feel fear about becoming a stepmother when...

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4 Comments

Is it strange that I fear becoming a step mother, when I've never been a mother? The child is 11, makes good grades, minds her father and respects me. Her mother has had 4 other children with other gentleman. The mother hasn't seen or provided support for the 11 yr old since she was a few months old. My fiance has had full custody since the child was small. She doesn't even know her mother, but sees her from a distance in town at times, and expresses a desire to spend time with her. Unfortunately the mother is chemically dependent and most recently had the Dept for Social Services at her house because of the conditions. I just feel like a lot is expected of me because of the mother's lack, and also like I don't know what the heck I'll do as a first time "mom." I am really terrified. I lost (miscarried) a child years ago, maybe that is why. I dunno. But my fiance is very supportive, has a lot of structure in the home, and his daughter obeys. At times she lies however, helps herself to other's property without returning it, and tears up stuff; stuff all kids do at some point I guess. Thank you kindly for any insight. I am sorry this was so long.

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83% Normal
Based on 29 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Orangemarie
    11 years ago

    Thank you kindly NeuroNeptunian. You all are making me feel better about the tall task that I have. :) Thank you and God bless.

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  • Orangemarie
    11 years ago

    THank you helper3452. :) I will try your suggestion. I appreciate your commenting.

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  • helper3452
    11 years ago

    This is normal besides everybody's nervous about something. I think the best thing you can do for the daughter is support her in every way. What she really wants is another female to talk to. You want to make sure she really trusts you so that if she ever has a problem that may be too embarrassing to talk about with her Dad she will come to you. Don't worry it already sounds like she loves you. ;)

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    It's normal, and it already sounds like she has a good environment to grow up in, despite her Mother's... er... shortcomings. I think you're doing great and the rest will likely just fall into place.

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