Is it normal that i feel awkward when my husband cries?
So, my husband's parents split up fifteen years ago, he's now twenty-five. I think it really affected him, perhaps more so than he tells me. Part of me wonders if his parents break was what lead to separation issues with his twin brother, which he received therapy for a few years ago.
Shortly after we met, he opened up to me and explained about it a bit, and he got a little tearful.
For personal, private reasons I shall not go into detail about his parents's situation.
Anyway, sometimes at night, he cries. He never gets upset in front of our twin sons, but I always know if he's going out of the room to cry when he blurts out "excuse me" and quickly slips out. But several days ago, both his parents came to dinner with his twin and older brother, and I guess, because they were together, it brought back some remembrance, some memories he'd rather forget.
That night, we were talking in bed, and he began to cry, just very softly, and it broke my heart.
His eyes just crinkled up, that whole beautiful face scrunching into tears. Instictively I laid a trembling hand on his shoulder. He made a bit of noise, sobbing, his hand over his mouth. Obviously the kids were in bed, so he was in private aside from myself. But I really was trembling...I felt so awkward, watching the love of my life, my husband, weeping into his fingers.
And that's how I always feel. Our sons were having a tough time at school (they're five so it's not like they're old enough to have the world upon their shoulders - even between them!) and it really affected John (my husband), as he's pretty close to them, and often they cry in his arms. Anyway, he shed a few tears about that, and I felt extremely awkward during and after.
Sometimes at night I lay my head on his shoulder in bed, and the evening after his crying, I felt embarassed.
How can I stop this?
I'm from England - and crying (or general emotional discourse) is kind of bottled up. But when I moved to Ireland to live with John, I noticed how free, how compassionate...how emotional the native peoples are. I guess seeing someone cry, as a numbed British victim - makes me tense up. Think 'still upper lip' - it really is like that in England. I love the Irish though - I love that emotive freedom.
How can I let go of that bloody English stereotype?