Is it normal that i feel angry/mistreated or do i seem too clingy?

74% Normal
4 Comments

Background:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months. We started off as being great friends, in fact, I can say best friends. I found myself being able to tell him anything, and he did too. He's my first boyfriend, and we're 21. We are both in college together and he's a year younger than me. Winter break is a long month, and our homes are 6 hours away. He had planned to come stay at his friend's place, and visit me while at it. He hasn't spoken about this since. So far, winter break has been extremely "busy" for him, and he's doing a lot for his family. We exchange a maximum of 2 texts per day and if we're both online we chat briefly. I wanted to catch up with him on the phone because of all the exciting things going on, with holidays and all, but he doesn't free his schedule up and tries to avoid my request by stating that he's got plans with his family or friends. I have been patient with him for 2 weeks, and yesterday I brought up the idea that we should talk because I actually wanted to discuss some important things with him on the phone. I didn't mention that it was regarding the future, since I be graduating and he will not. I feel that it may drive him away because he never wants to talk about that stuff. Also, he still hasn't told his parents about me and does not want me to send any presents to him for Christmas even if I already purchased it for him. This just gives me a very bad feeling.

His response:
I put a lot of pressure on him to want to talk all the time. He thinks I seem dependent on him for happiness and that it stresses him out a lot, "all the time".

I never nag him, or complain to him. I treat him as he wants to be treated, or how I'd like to be treated.

Is it normal, that I feel that I have the right to ask this from him as his girlfriend? Am I crazy for sharing my life with him and want just a simple 5 minute phone call or celebrate the holidays via webcam or something? And worse, is it time for me to let go and not care at all for this guy? It hurts me a lot, to feel this and then be accused of being too emotional. What should I do?

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 19 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • eyesonthesun95
    11 years ago

    no this is deffenitly not ok, it dosent sound like he is serious about you. ive been with my girlfriend for a year and were both 18. we constantly text all day and talk on the phone every night before bed. if he felt the way you do about him he would make time and want to talk to you throughout the day. coming from a guy dont stay with him hes a dick

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  • Moonbow
    11 years ago

    Your so-called "boyfriend" has someone else that his parents know about and that's why he hasn't told them about you and why he doesn't want you to send a present, etc. Dump his two-timing ass! And then find out who his real "signficant other" is (you're just a diversion while he's at college) and let her know that her boyfriend is a cheating SOB! He needs to learn there are consequences to such behavior.

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  • FuzzyxPickles
    11 years ago

    It doesn't sound like he's as into the relationship as you are OR he might possibly have another girlfriend at home and is making sure she doesn't find out about you. Regardless, I'd definitely try to sit down and talk to him about it, even if it has to wait until you both get back to school.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I think the key point (stereo-typically speaking) is that he's a year younger then you. Now, obviously I've never met the guy and can't tell you for sure... but it sounds like he hasn't really gotten to your maturity level in a relationship. My boyfriend is significantly older then I, and he's still got some childish tendencies... I can't tell you what you should do about your situation, but it's something to keep in mind.

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