Is it normal that i fantasize about rape/abuse/rough sex?

87% Normal
7 Comments

I'm a 20 year old virgin (female), and I've noticed that a lot of my sexual fantasies involve older, masculine men raping/abusing petite women. Sometimes they're just rough sex fantasies that include asphyxiation, hitting, hair pulling, etc.

I was sexually abused as a young child, and odd as it sounds, I've become desensitized to societal taboos.

Am I normal to be exciting by these fantasies when I was abused myself, and is it normal that while I was abused and am intriged to try some of the rough-fantasy things in real life, most people I know who were never abused are "squicked out" by even talking about it in passing?

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 62 votes (54 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Corruption
    13 years ago

    Omg this is hot.

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  • darkprince
    12 years ago

    see a psychiatrist.. its not normal

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  • lufa
    11 years ago

    You're turned on by violent sex because of your earliest sexual experience occurring in an abusive context. Like Pavlov's salivating dog, you were conditioned to associate pain with reward/pleasure. In my opinion it is not normal, since if you remain unmolested, you might've developed a healthier attitude towards sex.

    Frankly there are deep-seated issues that you have yet to resolve, perhaps with a professional. You'll find plenty of men willing to abuse you-since most people are petty, stupid, domineering and abusive by nature.

    It takes socialization for us to learn to control such bad behavior. I can understand that some women may have rape fantasizes, but it's more of an extension of submission, but real rape is a very brutal and destructive act. Check out some suicide forums and you'll see that numerous women are there because of sexual abuse and rape.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    This is perfectly normal. It is called S&M(Sadist&Sato Masochist). Which means wanting to harm and love of being harmed. You get sexual gratification from these thoughts but you are not bad for it. Many women and some men would volunteer to be victims. Women have the highest percentage in the enjoy being abused section. Men are mainly in the wanting to dominate section.

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  • jondoerandom
    11 years ago

    Normal.. I'm a guy and never was into any sadism or even rough sex, but because of my looks (big guy, crew cut, muscles and scars) I've always attracted girls that like to be abused in bed(sometimes not only). And it always came out only after dating a few months. Dunno, I played along and the absolute dominance and violence strated to appeal to me.

    Now, i've been single for a while and don't feel violent anymore. So i like it this way much better.

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  • YBNormal
    13 years ago

    Fantasies are always normal, of course. I worry about acting out fantasies of this type, because of the potential to be hurt. Some fantasies should probably just stay in the mind.

    If you do decide to bring them out into the open, when you are ready to find a partner, be sure you know and trust him, that he isn't gonna "like it" and treat you like that all of the time. Keep a line between fantasy and reality. Use safe words and gestures.

    If other board members feel like I'm being a bit dramatic, it's mainly because the OP included "hitting" and "asphyxiation" to her list. These are two things to be careful with, as both can cause permanent damage, and can ruin (or end) two lives.

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  • lycrayum
    14 years ago

    i think as long as you find the right person they will talk to you about it and will be happy to oblige in fulfilling your fantasies

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