Is it normal that i dream of a fanatsy mother?

I don't know when it started, probably about when I was six years old or so. It was then I started having dreams and visions of having another mother other than the one I was born to. She would often change up what she looked like from dream to dream, but she still always had the same soul. I don't know what triggered this, as I was a reasonably good little kid and was never abused. Still, my heart longed for her once I started having those dreams. In my sleep she'd visit me in her various forms and we'd be happy.

When I got older, around age 12, I could have sworn that she physically existed. I'd feel her presence when random women would be near me. The feeling would be brief, but real. Sometimes I thought it was her spirit wanting to be with me. Over time, I started giving these random women a name, "The Perfects".

At round age 14, my dreams were more vivid in detail. While I was at that point when you are half asleep and half awake, I'd feel her arms around me. I'd feel her breathing. I knew her presence. It was as if she was trying to comfort me when my real life was less then stellar.

One particular day, however, stands out from all these experiences. I was out shopping with my parents when I felt her presence and I knew she was nearby. It didn't take long for me to zero in on which of the many strangers in the vicinity she was. Dressed in a modest white sweater and long skirt, a kind face with a gentle smile, and brown hair that fell just below her shoulders, I knew it was her, and she was more perfect that I could have ever dreamed of. But there was one very obvious difference that set her out from all the other "Perfects" that appeared to me. She was pregnant. At first it took me by surprise, but then it added something even more endearing to her. I had gotten so overwhelmed with her presence that I ducked behind a clothing rack to pull myself together. When I got my emotions in check, I peered out to reassure myself that she was indeed real. Certain enough, she was still there, linking her arm in her husband's as they strolled over to peek into a shopping cart where a small boy lay asleep in the basket, draped over a giant bag of dog food turned on it's side. She said something kind to the child's mother and then strolled off. I watched her as they left, and felt very light headed and kinda "off" for the rest of the day.

I think that was the last time I ever felt and seen her presence in person.

The dreams still continued, though. We never really spoke in them, as we were able to convey emotions simply by looking at each other. And I never aged in them. I was still the same in my dreams as when they first started happening, six years old.

I'm well past all those ages now, and her visits have become more sparse. In the last 5 years I have probably dreamed of her only like three times. Maybe it's because I'm happier now, very content with life and work. I've no need for her comfort as I did when I was a little girl. But nonetheless, I do still love her and believe in her. And I still believe that one day I will see her again for real.