Is it normal that i dream about killing my family?

I was mistreated almost my entire life. My family isn't the best bunch of people. I had depression throughout my childhood, and I still have constant nightmares of the abuse. I was abused verbally and physically. I just wanted to DIE. I hated every aspect of my life. The only thing I enjoyed was school..which isn't usually the response out of a child. You'll rarely here a child say they enjoyed school. All of my friends hated it, but they also never had to go through the pain and suffering. Anyway, ever since my teens I've had these horrible nightmares of murdering my family...and it felt good. I'd wake up and be happy, but as soon as I seen them I'd be sad again. I feel "EVIL"! Am I? Is it normal that I want to kill them? I'd like to think I'm a sweet person, but no matter what I do I can't deny my fantasies of killing them. Even when I'm awake I feel the urge to jam knives in all their hearts. I only wish these feelings would go away! I only wish my childhood was "NORMAL", but I can't reverse time! If I could I would have left those bastards a long time ago!