Is it normal that i don't want to participate in the funeral because..

My youngest sister recently passed away and my other sister is complaining that I'm not helping with the preparations for the funeral. And the reason is because I haven't fully accepted that she's really gone. How can I help prepare for her funeral? It feels like she was JUST alive only yesterday. I just haven't accepted it at all.

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95% Normal
Based on 62 votes (59 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Neapolitana

    That is so sad to hear:( Tell your other sister exactly what you just wrote. I think (hope) that she will be more accepting of you not wanting to be involved if she understands your feelings.

    On the other hand, be prepared for her to say that SHE needs YOUR support. Because she may be feeling the same way as you, and ALSO like she's stuck making arrangements. The best compromise might be to do things together and get through it together.
    God bless your family!

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  • Justsomejerk

    It's a tough time and we all mourn in our own way. Your sister needs to go easy on you but remember she's going through the same thing so you have to cut her some slack too. Sorry about your younger sis.

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  • Katiex

    My condolences about your younger sister :( I was in the same situation a few years back when my dad died. All I would suggest is that you need to start thinking about your little sister more, start looking at photographs, watching home videos etc. Anything which will kick-start the grieving process as it sounds like you're in shock. I was in severe shock for about 6 months and I got really sick because of it. Doing these things will help you to accept what has happened and will therefore help prepare you for the funeral. I wish you all the best xx

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    I think it's normal. However, isn't it the same for your older sister too?

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  • joybird

    Only do what you feel able to do.

    My family tried to insist that I see my dad lying in his coffin but I've seen so many dead family members in their coffins that I know it destroys my memories of them, so I refused. Instead of being able to picture them in their favourite chair or place, I can never get past the image in the coffin.

    We can only do so much at a time like this, so don't push yourself too hard. Ask your sister to understand that you can't cope.

    I'm so sorry for your sad loss :o(

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  • Boo!

    ...you should... I...um.. I dont know what to say if it were me I'd bottle it in but thats bad dont do it. What would cheer you up? Maybe cheering you up is wrong... I'm sorry. I'm no good in matters like these. I want to tell it'll get better but if I were in a situation like this I wouldn't be able to look at the one day... What can I say to make you loosen even a ounce of your pain. Its ok you can make it? .... Yeas its normal to not want to prepare for your sisters funeral.

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  • Captain_Kegstand

    I am sorry to hear that happened to you. Losing a sibling just plain sucks. Is it an option to talk to your sister about this and explain your side of things? Remember, she just lost her sister as well, family is a great support net when something like that happens.

    Once again, I'm terribly sorry for your loss, I know what its like to lose a sibling. Believe me, time will never heal what happened, but it will make it much easier to deal with and accept.

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  • xXScYtHeXx

    It is normal for you not to want to, I'm so sorry for your loss, I can only imagine what hell you're going through.

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  • thinkingaboutit

    wow. that's rough.

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