Is it normal that i don't want to face homosexuality?

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11 Comments

I'm gay. It's not like I hate it, but I don't want to be open about this fact. Apart from being scared, I don't really wish to find a partner, so why coming out when it will only bring me problems? The thing is, I cannot stand facing anything gay-related. There was this 10 book series I had been enjoying since I was little. And when the 9th book was published, and one of the characters revealed himself as gay, I got angry and hurt. I threw those books away, and I avoid watching them in libraries. You just cannot imagine how frustrated and hurt I feel when I see some book or movie when one of the characters is... you know. And I've been trying to face it, being optimistic, like "hey, don't be ashamed, it's natural" and all that stuff. But it just hurts so much I can't really fight it. In fact, I don't care if I accept gay stuff or not, like I said, there's no reason for me to accept myself. I just want it to stop hurting so much.

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 21 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • SkullsNRoses
    8 years ago

    Sounds to me like you hate gay-related things as they remind you too much of your own struggles. Is not wanting romantic/sexual attention really the only/main reason you hide our sexuality though?

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    • RottenFox
      8 years ago

      If it was just that, I could admit what I am in real life. I'm real scared of people knowing, since I've been already been bullied. But I really hate it when people goes like: Oh, he's so scared he says he doesn't need anyone, but deep inside he just wants to be loved... No! I don't want a partner because I DON'T WANT A PARTNER! I mean, if I'm going to be despised once I've come out, is loving someone THAT worthy?

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      • DADNSCAL
        8 years ago

        I'm bisexual and have faced bullying and discrimination all my life, so I know what you mean. But you've gat to have the courage to be who you are. And yes, it's worth it to find someone who you can share your life with. As for being despised, learn to avoid narrow minded homophobic people. There are plenty of loving people in the world, so don't waste your time with jerks.

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        • RottenFox
          8 years ago

          I think you don't get me: I-DON'T-WANT-TO-HAVE-A-SOMEONE. Why do I have to be someone I don't want to be? Besides, I don't care for "loving people". I'm not the kind of guy who believes in "friends", more like the loner-kind of person. I just want to stop feeling this bad. Facing it is worse.

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          • DADNSCAL
            8 years ago

            You don't get it. You feel bad because you don't have anyone to share your feelings with. You'll never stop hurting until you accept yourself. I hope this helps.

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            • RottenFox
              8 years ago

              Honestly, if this works the way you say, I prefer to NEVER stop feeling this bad. I said it before: I hate it when people assume I'm just scared and want to be loved. I DON'T! What's wrong with that? Love isn't everything, you know? In fact, love is NOTHING for me! I have a shining piano career ahead of me, and I'm not willing to let THIS wreck everything. Love always brang me problems, so I don't want to love anymore. If you're going to continue with this "everybody wants to be loved :)" nonsense, I'd rather not hearing it. Thanks.

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          • Geturshittogetherfriend
            8 years ago

            You don't want a partner? You're not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone? Then I don't quite understand why you say you're gay?

            Also, you don't have to date anyone if you don't want to. You might feel pressured to, but you under no obligation to date someone, of either sex.

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            • RottenFox
              8 years ago

              Thanks, and yes, I do feel sexually and romantically attracted to guys, so I know I'm gay. It's just I don't want to have a someone, because I know it wouldn't turn out good. Besides, I don't believe in love.

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  • LittleGirl-BASHED-and-RAPED
    8 years ago

    At least you're a decent enough human being to acknowledge your own flaws.

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  • flyingnostalgia
    8 years ago

    You are wise human, and there are very few like you left .Do not ever give in to such lewd desires.

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