Is it normal that i don't want to breath the same air as her

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3 Comments

Since my family came from Korea I grew up getting physically abused and mentally too. After I started taking therapy and after my mom found out that she could go to jail she started to physically abuse me less but my mom still abused me. Even though her physical abuse wasn't as bad as it used to be anymore she started to abuse me mentally more than usual. That lead me to depression. My mom knows that I have depression even so she tells my doctor that my therapist says that I don't and then she tells my therapist that my doctor said that I don't have depression. After a while I switched my doctor who noticed that I advoided the topic of having depression. He later on sent me to meet this person who was like a therapist and she found out I had OCD and depression. But I told her not to tell my parents because they wount do anything about because they already know but they didn't change their attitude. Because of how my mom was the cause of my depression I started to hate her more and more I hated her when I was little because of the physical abuse but now I hate her becuase of mental abuse I still hold a grudge and I still am going through depression

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90% Normal
Based on 10 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • S12207
    6 years ago

    With the sounds of it she knows what she is doing and has no control of herself-shes projecting her misery onto you and that is horrible. Try to stay strong, not everyone is like your mom and you don't deserve it, I don't care what you've done (if anytbing) it is no grounds for anyone to bully you that way especially your mother. How old are You? Can you get your own place or stay elsewhere?

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Is there anything you can do to get out of this situation?

    I really feel for you there, because my mom and I have had a rocky relationship. She could be physically, verbally and emotionally abusive.

    Funny thing is that my mom can also be very generous and doting. She loves to go shopping, and she's a big help when I'm sick, especially during cold and flu season. When it comes to my mental health, however, my mom is completely clueless, neglectful and still abusive sometimes.

    I think the worst of it was during my teenage years. It was also pretty bad during my thirties when I came back home after my first ex-husband cheated on me. I spent about 15 years in Las Vegas which probably wasn't the best thing, but I didn't think there was anything for me where I was living in Mississippi either.

    I honestly wish my mom, and my father and sister to a lesser degree, were more open to learning about mental health. I really HATE how my mom thinks she is always right, and how she thinks that depression and anxiety are things I bring on myself, because I'm lazy.

    My mom isn't Korean though, she's Colombian. She is super critical of people in general, but is always in denial if the problem is with a family member. She often expects and demands that things be perfect which has kinda lead me to be the opposite.

    I love my mom, but I think that our relationship is much better when we have more space between us, which is sad but true. When someone close to me hurts or insults me I don't want them anywhere near me.

    I wish you all the best! If you're seeing a good therapist don't stop. Don't give up on yourself. God bless you, dear heart!

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  • AntiArchon
    6 years ago

    Have you tried talking to her and really explaining how her behaviour is seriously affecting you? maybe write a heartfelt letter if you cant say it to her face.. if she doesn't listen and dismisses you all the time and still continues the abuse just find another place to live.. if you cant right now just avoid her as much as you can til you can move out or get your own place. Though its hard, try not to let her negativity and words affect you.. meditation probably will help but you need to take it seriously and stick to the practice.
    its very normal to feel anger and resentment at your mom but try not to take it personally and look at her through a scientific standpoint.. its most likely she got abused as a child too probably worse than you and her brain got wired that way and formed a personality disorder that's why she lacks so much empathy. l'm sorry for what you had to go through as a child and the negative impacts it had on your mental health. Wish you the best.

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