Is it normal that i don't want to be my best friend's friend anymore?

81% Normal
2 Comments

Is it normal thatI don't want to be my best friend's friend anymore?

"Mandy" has been my best friend for 4 years. She also has depression. Ever since we've gotten close, I've been one of the only people actually there for her. She tells me everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. We would hang out every day and text every minute. Once she leaves my house, we hop on our phones and text. There was never one second we were apart. Mandy was here every weekend. We would be very affectionate towards each other in a best friend sort of way. At a recent point in time, I've started to grow apart from her. I don't want to be around her all the time. There were times she would try to come over and I would politely deny them. I truly have grown apart from her. I just don't feel the same as I used to. When I told Mandy that I couldn't go back to how it used to be, she got really offended and hurt. She always blames everything on herself, even when it's my fault. It's not like she's a bad friend, but I feel annoyed whenever she's around me. At this point, I feel as if I'm forcing myself to stay Mandy's friend. I've tried to gradually separate us by hanging out with other people but it hasn't really worked. I'm scared to tell her the truth and leave her. I think things would be easier if she didn't have depression. If I leave, Mandy won't have anyone to talk to and confide in. I'm her only best friend and she puts SOOO much into this friendship. She is much more into this friendship than I am. The depression is starting to weigh down on me. Overall, I have too much "invested" in her with her depression that I feel as if I can't leave. We don't have to not be friends, but I just want to REALLY water down the friendship we have. If we were truly best friends, I wouldn't feel forced to talk to her. Plus we get into arguments very often and I never feel like resolving them. Mandy does everything she can to keep me around.

I know it was a ton, but not only is it normal, but am I a bad person for this?

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 37 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • PinkHairedFreak
    8 years ago

    You are not a bad person. Depression wears people down, and it isn't fair of your friend to put all of that on you. I don't think she realizes that it hurts you when she does that though.

    Perhaps you could help her find a therapist or counselor? Make sure to say that you want the best for her and that you want her to be healthy. I'd wait for maybe 5-6 sessions or weeks and see if she is getting better at not unloading all her problems on you before deciding on whether to continue the friendship (in either high or low intensity) or not.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Sounds like a tremendous relief for your ex best friend.

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