Is it normal that i don't want to be clingy to my current partner?

79% Normal
4 Comments

I have been talking to my new boyfriend for about a year. We don't go on dates often because of school. Recently, he asked did I even want to be in a relationship with him because it seemed that I didn't care. I told him that I did want to be in a relationship with him but I didn't want to seem clingy.

I told my mom and my sister about it and while my mom said that a friendship is the best type of relationship, my sister told me that I shouldn't reveal my past to him because he might think he would get away with the stuff that happened in my previous relationship (see my past posts if possible) and we/she dididn't want that.

What if later in the relationship, he wants to get to know more about me but I'm not willing to tell him?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 24 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • ArayaLioness
    9 years ago

    There's a difference between being clingy and showing a man that you want him.

    I would think clingy would entail: calling him 15 times a day, constantly sticking by his side, getting upset when he leaves your side etc.

    Showing affection to him would be: wanting to spend time with him by setting up a time to see each other, talking to him on the phone once or twice a day etc.

    Are you doing the latter? If so, he may be one of those guys who REALLY love attention (I don't know. If you don't, you could ask him). You could also inquire as to what he feels he wants you to do so that he can feel secure that you want him as much as he wants you.

    (Also, if he asks about your past, I would tell him. Just because you accepted things in the past DOES NOT mean you do now).

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  • Lariii
    9 years ago

    I think that you're certainly not clingy, to prove you're not clingy you've gone so far as to seem distant to him. Just show him a bit more interest, be a bit more 'clingy' which won't make you clingy at all, and it should be better.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Since you are posting anonymously, how are we supposed to see your past posts?
    Anyway, it is perfectly OK to not discuss certain things about your past with your present lover, but under no circumstances is it OK to lie. If he can not accept that, then you will have to choose between your secret and that guy, but if he can't accept it, then you really don't want him anyway.
    You are allowed to have a past that you do not want to discuss. There is nothing in the marriage vows about 'full disclosure', is there?

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    • Magdalene
      9 years ago

      Sorry. Basically my ex had attachment issues after we broke up and he stalked me online. Initially I was upset when we broke up but I don't want to talk about it nor do I want my current partner to know about it. I don't want him to be like my ex.

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