Is it normal that i don't want my mother to date?

Hello everyone,

I have an issue which is making me feel bad for almost 3 days. My father passed away when i was a little girl and the relationship between my parents was amazing. My mother has been single ever since and has not dated anyone. She is young and a wonderful woman. I am having a huge super hard time in accepting the fact that she might be in a relationship with someone. I cannot even look her in the eye. It makes me sick when i go to sleep. She has not stopped loving our father but now I caught accidentally some messages on her facebook messenger. They just popped up and i read some flirting. I almost threw up. I was about to scream. I dont know why this happened. In theory i have always felt that our mother should be in a relation because she deserves to be happy. On the other hand when i read those messages i felt horrible. I have not been able to sleep for days. Just the thought that in our mother's life might be someone else besides our father makes me freak out a huge time. I dont know why. My brother would never accept a second marriage and he has made it pretty clear. Our mother has said that she would never do this, however I have always said and I will never leave her alone. Our fathers death has made us very close and we love and respect our mother deeply. But when I read those message, actually i just saw them (because i am not that kind of person who check's someone phone. I have never done that) i felt like the world crashed on my feet. Is it normal to feel this way? Is it normal that I feel a terrible child and I do not deserve my mother's love?

I need help because I have none to talk to.

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 28 votes (21 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • (s)aint

    Your father passed away, does that mean your mother should be alone her entire life? Children does not fill the same parts of an adults life as a partner.

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  • dytrog

    A healthy woman needs or may need a male companion. Not just for sex. It's nice to have someone to share thoughts and feelings with. A child can't cuddle with her on lonely nights. Grow up and let her live her life. Not what you and your brother think you have the right to decide is best for her. Your only thinking of your feelings, NOT HERS!!!

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  • Ellenna

    Both you and your brother need to grow up and accept that your father's death so long ago doesn't mean your mother has to remain single for the rest of her life.

    Stay out of her life and relationships and get on with your own lives and deal with your childish jealousy and possessiveness without bothering her about it. Genuine love for someone means wanting them to be happy and being happy for them when they are: I repeat LEAVE HER ALONE!

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  • eteriva

    I'm sorry for your loss. I think you should try to get used to the idea that your mom can and probably will have partners but she has no right to get married if you don't approve of it. She has her rights as a woman but as a mother, she also has her responsibilities. I'd advise you to discuss this with her beforehand so you can set everything straight. My mother had a marriage after her divorce and even though he wasn't physically abusive I always felt as if I was staying over at a relative's when I was at home and didn't really leave my room until my mom divorced him too.

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  • funlovingbitch

    Sorry to say but life goes on you are being selfish you cannot expect your mum to spend rest of her life looking after you or on her own

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  • Goku19

    Your brother appears to be more stupid than you. If your smartphone dies, will you not buy a new smartphone to fill up the need and should your mom scream madly if she catches you looking for new smartphone on internet. Then whats wrong with filling the need of partner in mom's life. I remember "SPY NEXT DOOR" movie in reference to your situation if it helps you and your brother to grow up.

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  • sourgrapes

    No its not bloody well normal.ffs.

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  • Tealights

    Basically, you and your siblings haven't accepted your father's death.

    It's great you all came together as a family, but you got to work on your emotions individually too. Think about it. Though its great your mother is very supportive and willing to say she wont date to help you guys heal, but you're getting too old for this behavior. You know she deserves companionship as much as anyone.

    Take some time to figure out your own emotions on everything, and learn how to cope (http://hubpages.com/health/Coping-Strategies-Skills-List-Positive-Negative-Anger-Anxiety-Depression-Copers) with it in a healthy way, even see a therapist if you have to. When the time feels right to you, apologize to your mother for all this unnecessary pressure you've placed on her to not date.

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  • arthurtheaardvark99

    She's cheating and this is unacceptable behavior. She has no self respect and doesn't love her children. She only thinks of herself and has completely forgotten about your father.

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  • SUCKMYPECKER

    She needs cocks in her cunt , asshole , mouth.

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    • Semen

      Lol

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